Say I love you to my family members

I’ve had a post-lunch café time (and beer and fresh orange juice) with my parents today. Haven’t seen them for a while. (They even haven’t heard yet My Fabulous Adventures in Cannes Film Festival™, wich were between the 18th and the 22th of may).
It was… sweet. We remembered a lot of things from my (great) childhood. Holidays, astronomy, violin, family, my first best friend ever when I was 2, the different pets, my brother…

And I told them I love them and each of them. In a natural and joyful way. They reacted very cutely. My parents are people of modesty, with a huge sense of propriety. So they looked down to the menu card, slightly embarassed but immensely happy. They could’nt help but genuinely smile.

I made for the three of us a great memory here.

Maybe I have to re formulate this goal. “Accept my family and love them anyway” could be more accurate.
I have a depressive brother, deeply sad, unhappy, and lonely. He’s not diagnosed yet, but it is obvious to me. He has most of the symptoms, and I try to encourage him to begin a therapy.
I had the chance to talk about him to my parents tonight¹.
According my father, in our family, we are all lonely losers (so everything is not so bad with my brother. He just has to find the right girl).
Yeah, daddy. So long, and thank you for the shit.
He was feeling so attacked. (Maybe because he was the one who quit his job to raise us, not my mother). It was so sad. The saddest was that he was not able to just hear things he don’t want to hear.
On the bright side, my mother was very emotionnally intelligent during this conversation. The drugs she takes to try to stabilize her epilepsy have changed her into an other person as the years go by, a less intelligent, less caring, less everything, a not-really-there person.
I was very touched and happy to find again my mother tonight, my real mother.

¹ Due to the fact that my uncle and my aunt were about 3 hours late, without calling. My father was very, very angry. He had a fight with them when they arrived, and spent the entire evening to sulk, not eating with the rest of us. So merry Christmas Eve.

Anyway.

we live in the same city, tough.
At least they phone to me. To cancel our rendez-vous. My father will perform soon in front of public audience, as an opérette singer, and my mother is his kind of assistant. (Yes, they’re retired).
So I have to understand they’re over-booked. (and I admit I was very busy myself since september).
Ah, parents.

So. Tonight, after the restaurant, i said to my mum : “I don’t say this to you often enough, so i say it now : I love you, mummy”.
She said “oh, this is cute”.

Let’s say we have a start here.

why is this so hard ?