fall in love again

i went on a date on Sat night with a really nice guy. I hope to see him again!

i wrote an ad and posted it on craiglist. i have received ZERO responses so far. Not very encouraging.

now, more than ever, i’ve decided that i really want a man in my life who loves me for who i am. i want to find someone who is “in to me”.

this morning. i feel okay. we had a nice five months together. he was nice to me and gave me lots of physical attention. i’ll miss that.

I signed up for eHarmony yesterday. Here we go again!

i’m now starting to feel a bit panicky about our last few nights together. Soon we will spend our last night together and i am feeling very upset about it. i don’t want him to go, even though he is not in love with me. i like the attention and the touch and having someone in the same bed with me every once in a while. who knows when i will have that again with someone?

we just spent the weekend together and while it was nice, i know i don’t love him. that’s okay, since he is leaving my city in a month and both of us will be moving on. i will miss him though. we’ve had a nice time since we met.

i’m getting emotionally attached now, which is a bad sign. the last time he was over, i woke up in the morning with a feeling in my stomach which i knew had to do with missing him. i called him last night on his cell phone, even though i knew he wouldn’t be available to see me. he will never be mine, but i think that is why i am becoming attached. knowing that he will never be mine is making me want him more.

He said he would call last night and he didn’t call. I think I am ready to let him go. He has alot to sort out anyway.

my new friend has just found out that his so-called ex-spouse is pregnant with his second child. (he would have made her pregnant before i met him.) i am confused because he and i only really had until december to be together since he is in the military and will be posted someplace else in january. so should i nip things in the bud now? knowing that we have an end date might help me with not getting too attached. but he may want to end it with me anyway because he is trying to decide what he wants to do about his new family situation.