I’d like to start grad school again soon but I’m hesitating because I feel daunted by my lack of money and all the things I need to do to get to this goal. Also I have this fear that I’m not good enough yet to even consider grad school…yet. There’s a little truth in that last statement, but there’s a lot of low self-esteem in it too. I know that music is what I love to do and I need to get back in a good practicing routine and branch out and really work to improve myself because I know this is my passion, and I’ve been improving so much this year and I think I can make it. I just need to stop beating myself up emotionally but still continue to work hard and keep my eye on the goal.
I’m stressed about money because this might mean I have to do meaningless office work or something outside my passion for music to earn money to continue my calling in music. I know I need to do this and I’m willing to if that’s what it comes down to, but I hate the idea of a boring meaningless job. Now if I could find a well playing job that ties into my hobbies and other interests, then that would be even better.
I’d like to get on top of both these issues so I can really make my grad school plan actualized soon.
