be confident in my relationship

I watched When Harry Met Sally recently, for maybe the fourth time, but it was the first time I understood why Sally finally breaks down about her relationship with Joe. She believed he didn’t want something in general, but when it came down it, he just didn’t want it with her. I didn’t understand it in the film previously, but somehow, I’ve always been expecting it. When you say you don’t want something, I obsess over the idea that maybe you just don’t want it with me.

Maybe that’s still my tendency to over-analyze, or maybe it’s a realistic concern.

When things feel chaotic, confusing, or frustrating, my first instinct it that I need to be doing more to alleviate the situation. More energy, more time, more unpartitioned devotion. That instinct is misleading, and what I need to do is take a step back into myself to even see things more clearly and lessen the tension. I need to invest in myself first, and everything else is icing. When you sacrifice too much of yourself, nothing will ever feel right.