accept my father's death.

My father died five years ago. I miss him everyday. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I live life everyday…but I miss him. He died so young and will miss all of the important events of my life. Does anyone have any advice on the best way to accept a death as significant as a parent? I don’t have that typical mother/daughter relationship – my mother is involved in my life, but my dad was the most significant parent for me. I really need to move on with my life and I fear that until I do this, I won’t be able to. Thanks.

Today would have been his 53rd birthday. I still really miss him. It’s amazing to me that when you lose a parent, you can feel so empty for so long.

I just got back to the city from being back in Ohio. My grandmother died. She was my father’s mother. It was the first funeral I’ve been to since my father’s. The whole family kept saying, “we miss him so much” or “we really wish your dad was still here…” I just wanted to say “no shit” “i wish he was here too…” It’s been almost five years. I wish I could tell him about what I’ve been doing. I just got my first “real job” outside of the restaurant industry. I’m using my degree and thinking about going to graduate school. I miss him. Why can’t I get over it?

My mother and I have countless arguments—she thinks I need to get over him. How can I get over him when I still miss him like crazy? He was the best role model anyone could ever have. It’s not like I sit and sulk about it….I just miss him. Telling him things that I’m worried about or things that I have accomplished. He was my rock. It’s only been four years but feels like a lifetime.

so, i went into my attic today to start packing up my belongings (i’m moving to NYC on Thursday…) and the things I keep in my attic are basically old stuff that I never use but can’t get rid of. Basically, I have all of my dad’s stuff up there and as I started to go through them, I felt paralyzed. I couldn’t breathe. I had to grab a box so I wouldn’t fall over. It’s so difficult…will I ever overcome my grief. It will be four years in March.

It’s been three years, but I still miss him like crazy. He didn’t get to witness my college graduation, my move to Maine, my move to adulthood…I wish I could be at peace with this incredible loss.