Celebrate being single while I'm single

its not fair for me to live like this because i’m not single…i met a great guy and met up with him but i knew that he wanted to date me so i had to just walk away!

which isn’t something i could have when i was in a relationship and i’m going to celebrate the female power in my space!

and watched them back to back while lying on my lovely sofa drinking tea…

not something one can do with a boyfriend around!

:)

i have spent the past 3 days redecorating my apartment and i love it!

and i couldn’t have done it without making compromises if i’d been with a partner!

went to the club with my girls last night and had the best time. looking fine and getting the glances that always makes someone feel good! the potential of being single is always hightened in a club..you see what’s out there and what you could have if you wanted…

but then you get the pleasure of your own company when you just wanna be alone!

on the beach in the south of france with yummy pizza and wine followed by surprise fireworks (real ones :}) and a walk along the water!

something i’d never have done if i wasn’t single!!

with a girlfriend last night and had a great time…

another thing i don’t do when i’m in a relationship!

i think that’s one of my problems, i need to live like i’m single all the time…even when i’m in a relationship!

which i’ve taped during the previous week. i sit down with a bottle of wine and some take-away and i watch the full 6 hours of tv….

this isn’t something i think i could or would do if i was in a relationship!

i’m happy that i can do this and when i am in a relationship, i need to remember to do this!

i think one thing that is getting in the way of this goal is having realistic expectations.

i meet someone and we hang out…date..whatever you wanna call it and i immediately start hatching these expectations…he’ll do this, we’ll do this, i’ll get this emotionally/mentally/physically but i get so let down when it doesn’t happen the way i wanted/expected it too.

i put so much pressure on the relationships because of my expectations that i end up being disapointed. this makes me feel bad, and depressed.

then i stop enjoying being single and just wanna stop dating all together, which isn’t good because then i get lonely and glom onto physical relationships…

how to stop the cycle of expectations?

i’ve been thinking about this ‘thing’ and i’m not sure how i feel about it. i enjoy being single but i keep getting wrapped up in the want to be in a couple! if i think hard though, i know there are things that i can do when i’m single that i can’t do while i’m in a relationship.

example of that: i’m in france for the summer…i know that any partner i could be with wouldn’t support me leaving my life
(and him) for 3 months while i come here to help my mum.

well…i’ll have to keep that in mind…i don’t want a relationship which curtails my ability to do what i need or what brings me peace or joy!

ok, maybe i can do this ‘thing’ :)