figure out what i want to do with my life

I’ve been thinking about my future plans for months on end. I’ve finally decided to stick with healthcare. I start paramedic school this week and that will last a year. Then I will finish my prerequisites for nursing and then go to nursing school. I plan to work in EMS while in nursing school and then hopefully work in an ICU or a high level ER until I gain enough experience to work as a flight nurse. I will most likely go to grad school for some advanced nursing degree at some point, I’m just not sure what area will strike my interest. Basically, I want my job to require me to think and be on my toes. I think healthcare could make me happy for the long term.

After working as an EMT for two months, I’m beginning to realize that my future might be in health care after all. It’s hard to explain, but it just seems to fit. I become a different person when I step into the back of the ambulance with a patient. I’m not hurried or frustrated, I’m tuned into whatever that person needs and I do my best to provide it, even if it’s just a hand to hold. It’s bizarre. I didn’t expect to love this job so much. I’m reconsidering nursing school, although I want to get my paramedic degree first and work as a paramedic for a year before going to nursing school, if that’s what I decide to do. Suddenly I’m not in such a huge hurry. I’ve found a job that I love and that has made a huge difference in my life. I have a reason to be again and I’m happy.

Today I took a long hard look at my schedule and the requirements of my degree. I ended up dropping one class and picking up a different one that will actually count towards my degree (the other would double up credit already received in that particular area). So now I’m 3 hours closer to my degree. I’ve decided to stick with the history degree and work on figuring out grad school sometime before my senior year. Right now I’m leaning heavily towards law school, mainly because it seems to open a lot of doors. I could be a lawyer and also a journalist or a professor if that’s what I decide I want to do. I can use my remaining electives to take political science classes to prepare for law school and still have the time to take a couple of fun classes too. This seems like the best option for me. It still leaves my options open, especially since there are so many different areas of specialization in the legal world. Now I just need to get awesome grades this year and bring my GPA back up (it’s a 3.56 right now…not really low, but not where I’d like it to be).

I have officially changed my major five times now and I’m considering another change. The problem is that I’m not totally sure what I want to do in life. I’m 2 years into my college education and nearly done with all of my core classes. I have narrowed the original list but also added new things. Today I’m torn between being a journalist (either print journalism or documentary films), a lawyer (I’d love to do something like legal aid or environmental law or work for the ACLU), a professor (history, English, or journalism would be my choices). I’d also like to do something about preserving historic homes and historic places of interest. There’s probably a way to combine all of those things, I just haven’t come up with that answer yet.

I had a funny realization today. I got an email from some random list I’m a member of and the subject was, “How to Keep Potty Training Fun.” After I chuckled, I thought to myself that this was exactly why I don’t want to be a stay-at-home mother. I’ve tried doing just that and I’m not very good at it. I was even a work-at-home mom with my own sewing business. It was ok, but the house was never clean. I hate cleaning and trying to keep the house neat and tidy while chasing two small children who are constantly making messes just isn’t for me. I became much happier once I got a job outside the home and had to “go to work” each day rather than just walking from one room to the next in my pajamas. I always ended up watching tv or playing on the computer or just hanging out with the kids when I should have been cleaning or doing something productive. The time with my kids was nice, but I think I appreciate them more when I’m not with them 24/7. And now that I’m extremely busy between work, school, and home, I definitely appreciate my “free” time.

Up until recently, I was majoring in nursing and felt relatively sure what I wanted out of life. I say relatively sure because I’ve always had doubts and wondered if I was on the right path. It all came to a head recently as I struggled to pass anatomy and took the nursing entrance test. I did ok on the test, but my scores were no better than average. I started seriously rethinking what I want out of life and came to the realization that I am not on the right path. After doing some searching and a lot of thinking, I have decided to change my major. I am going to pursue an AA in Journalism, which I will be done with next spring, then a BA in History, which will take another 2-3 years. Then, I plan to pursue an MA in Journalism (specifically newspapers). If I need to get the BA in Journalism first, that’s fine too (only 1-1 1/2 extra years). And someday, I want to get a Ph.D. in Journalism and teach on the college level. I think investigative reporting is what interests me the most. I loved my time on my high school newspaper. Those experiences were some of the best I had in high school. My husband is a little thrown off by my “sudden” change of interests and I haven’t really told anyone else yet. My decision makes me happy and I finally feel excited about the future. That’s all the really matters, right?