overcome anxiety

I got to the birthday lunch and shook hands with 16 people. Because of how the tables were set up, I had only to talk with 4 or 5 of the people. Underthe table my leg shook, but no one was looking under the table.

I’m glad I went, there was some interesting talk, and even someone who could help with internet technology! Currently a topic of great interest to me.

To start with there seem to be few people posting. I hope to hear from others in the discussion on overcoming anxiety.

Tomorrow I’ve said I’d go to lunch with a number of people I don’t know, at a restaurant I’ve never been to, with no idea what to talk about. Why am I doing this? It’s a birthday lunch for my spouse, and the office crowd is taking him out.

Yet I have to get there on my own. They’ll be coming from the office. I expect I’ll do OK, by the anticipation is driving me nuts.

I found one thing to lower anxiety while trying to work on my quilt. I have an audio subscription to MLB.com and the sort of slow pace of a radio broadcast of a baseball game gives me something to focus on when I’m overly anxious about sewing the next squares.

I’ve had some forms of anxiety for about 30 years. 2 years ago, something happened and I never knew anxiety could be so bad. It was something called PTSD – post traumatic stress disorder. From being moderately sociable, meaning able to do my shopping and talk to people in a class, I went to being afraid of just about everything. Email becaame my favorite means of communication. Phone calls were out. In the last 2 years I’ve made progress- can do small shopping trips alone without becoming paralyzed in the store. But there’s still a lot of anxiety- I can’t read books I used to like, such as some of my favorite mystery authors. I can’t watch any movies (fiction) though I can watch some non-fiction, such a building pyramids. This anxiety is keeping me from things I used to enjoy. I go to therapy, and slowly things get better, but they’re the going-out kinds of things. I want to get back to reading and maybe seeing a movie.

I’ll look for how others have made changes and hope for advice.