lose my virginity

i have been in love with him for the last year of my life. And we have had a few opportunities but i always just ended up giving him head… now he has a gf. I am so crushed, all i ever wanted was to screw him. and now this is making it harder, i kno he is a cheater by nature, so there is still hope. And its not there is anyone else either. just him, its always him.

i just want to do it already..the sexual frusteration is really getting to me. I mean me and the guy have been messing around for the last couple of months. I sucked him off and we make out buti just don’t see why i am the only one he hasn’t had sex with. Not that we have been alone, but i want him to take the initiative to do it with me. This friday i invited him to a party at my house so i am wishing and hoping that it happens.

i finally talked to him… he told me that he was done messing around (hes a manwhore).. and told me that he wanted just to be my friend and stopped talking to me because he didn’t want me to get the wrong idea. i am at the same place i don’t want ne thing more than a friend with benefits deal..even now thou it seems like he is being distance even though he said he wanted to be friends… i just don’t get it. i know that i probably should just get over this but i can’t help but want him so bad. i know that he messes around with his friends so there is still hope.

he came up then left. no love for me….

well i think i might do it tonite.. with some guy i have been into forever, the only guy i ever liked. he is coming up to see me at college again, a two hour drive just to see me. and i have wanted to do it, but the situation is never right. just kinda nervous..i am almost 20, and i have never done it before. and ya gotta do it sooner or later, so y not now? i don’t think i will regret it, he has mentioned dating so i hope thats a possiblilty.

yea so i started talking to this guy who as been flirting with me forever and hinting at having sex, but when we actually started talking about it he said he didn’t know if he wanted to have sex with a virgin and that he is thinking abot it… ugg this sucks…

i feel that i am really far behind in this aspect of life…i don’t want to miss out, but i don’t want to do it just to do it, then regret it. maybe its better just to get it over with so i can stop obsessing over it….there is a guy who i feel comfortable with and i know would “help me out” but i just don’t know??? idk if i just don’t want to be just another girl he has slept with, but how long does a girl have to want for the ‘right guy?’ i mean i know its not a big deal to be a 19 year old virgin, but is ‘doing it’ as big of a deal as people make it to be? besides i have heard loosing it to someone ur inlove with rarely ever turns works..i think there is more regret that way, more longing for the person if it doesn’t work out. maybe causally is better: less emotions and attachment.. but who i am to know??