truly forgive the people that have hurt me

There are a lot of days where this is still really hard for me to deal with. I absolutely hate him and I know that is a very strong word but there is no other way to describe it but… Hate. My mother told me to never use that t refer to someone but I think that is the only way that I can. Loss of progress on this one for me today

I guess I just need to vent a little about this agian. I continue to try and forgive him and just when I think I have something else he has done affects my children. My oldest son just turned six last month and he didnt even call to say Happy Birthday. It makes me so upset at him that he can go through his life like his children dont even exsist. What kind of father is that? When my oldest got sick about 2 weeks ago I called to ask for help. Even though I have insurance the doctor bills were really adding up. Over the course of a week I spent more than 300 on doctors and medicine trying to keep him out of the hospital. When I talked to his dad about it he gave me the “feel pitty for me talk” and I just cant do it anymore. But today my oldest returned to school and is feeling better so all in all I guess thats all that matters. My boys dont ask about their dad and I volunteer no information because Im scared that I will say something bad about him. I figure that someday they will k now really what kind of a man he is and they will understand why I divorced him and how hard I really tried

there are days when i hate my ex…wish he would fall off the face of the planet but i know that isnt going to happen i have to let him go in order to move on and being able to enjoy the present and my future are so much more important then he ever was

I have decided I need to forgive him for everything that has happened and continues to happen. I need to do this for me not for him and I need to do it for my kids. I need to let go of all the work he has caused me for so long. I also need to let go of all the fears he has installed in me over time as well. Im affraid all the time that no one will like me or ever love me, that no one can accept me for who I am and what I am, that he was right all along and I am worthless even though that it not true. I need to forgive so I can put all of this far behind me in the past where it belongs.

there are people in my past and in my present that i need to find in my heart to forgive them and move on and to stop letting in rule over me