I just need to go out, be with people and practice. I think I need to pretend I”m 4 years old again, and go out and just try everything. Don’t hold back!
9. MY hobbies. Ok…what are they? Reading? no…can’t remember the last thing I read. Television? Ok, but what a lame hobby. Running? If only I could start again. Travelling? Yes but so many places I have NOT been! Cooking? sure, but I haven’t even mastered fried eggs yet. Sleeping? Definitely! But what else is there to say about that? Hiking? Ok. But my memory sure sucks, what were all those awesome places I went to again? Eating? Of course!!! But I would rather eat than talk about it. Ways to avoid work? Hmmm…I may finally be getting somewhere…
that someone could just be boring? and hopeless at ever carrying on an entertaining conversation? I keep thinking that this really doesn’t make sense. But at the same time, maybe there really is some disability that could prevent someone from being able to carry on a conversation that is more advanced than “where do you live?” or “what do you do”. Okay, that’s sounding really ridiculous. I guess I am looking for a way out of finishing these conversation goals :) I guess I struggle with the part of moving the conversation further. I seem to do great at asking questions, but once I have to get into the observational comments, or talking about myself, or even telling a story, it’s like there is nothing there to say. I feel like that part of my brain is just taking a holiday, and the uncreative other side is taking over, wanting to get down to the facts, of what city someone lives in, or how many brothers and sisters, or whatever other random fact. I guess this is just a matter of practice at unleashing the more right-sided thinking. Just because I can’t do it now, doesn’t mean that practice wont’ help.
So I found some new observations about “ritual” questions. Basically the questions that everybody starts with to find out more about somebody. Where do you work? Where do you live? Any kids? etc etc. These are really opportunities that I should be using to develop a conversation. I used to think that I must be a great listener since I sure don’t talk much. But maybe I am just concentrating so much on what else I can possibly talk about that I am not really a part of the conversation, and not doing my part about keeping it going. I tend to fall into the habit of grilling with questions, but I am going to try to stay more focused on the ‘freebie” information that people provide so that I can develop a conversation from that.
SO for 7 & 8. My work and their work. I’m going to really try and focus on what someone’s job is, as it really defines so much of someone’s life, unfortunately. Also, I need to have more to say about my job, I can make it an exciting discussion if I want to. Usually, I just count on being a programmer, working with data, to be a boring discussion, but really, to people outside the industry, they may be clueless. And I don’t need to self-fulfill the boring programmer role.
2 find something to compliment then on. Well, don’t be fake about it. well, not really a topic either. but it’s a start
3 talk about vacation plans. dur…already do that anyways.
4 dammit, I am going to talk about the weather.
5 talk about how they spent their latest holiday/super bowl/
6 talk about their kids. It’s always fascinating to me to get insight into a coworkers parenting or even seeing how close/far the apple falls from the tree. Sometimes it can be really inspirational too. Sometimes it may be a little forward to ask if someone has kids though.
Ok, I admit, I’m trying for an easy #1.
Talk about the latest cool thing I’ve seen on our company’s intranet. For example, they now have a battle of the bands so all the employees w/ musical genius can showcase it. It’s refreshing and inspiring to see successful people who also have another hidden, interesting side, when usually it’s so easy to classify someone as boring based on the type of work they do or their lifestyle ( i.e. family man- sorry for the negative stereotype!).
since right now I can’t think of any. My conversations skills suck.