Overcome my OCD

so i’m starting to pay attention more to my ocd habits. its weird because even tho i kno i have it i can’t control it at all sometimes. i’m starting to notice a pattern. my rituals or whatever they are called usually happen when i get nervous and am around a large crowd of ppl when i’m alone i tend to be fine. i always feel thst if i don’t complete my “tasks” entirely that something bad will happen. its one of the worst feelings in the world and i hope that i can overcome my ocd on my own.

its starting to ruin my life. if i don’t go with my “rituals” or “urges” or whatever u want to call them then i believe something bad will happen. it’s slowing me down in life. sometimes i have to touch my eyelash a certain number of times (until it feels right), or play with my pontail, or wink, or touch something(that is really fucking annoying)or so on. i can’t stop even tho i know there is something wrong with me and it suks.