identify 43 things that make me happy.

Me, my cunt and I.

being connected is important
being jelly is important
being random firing synapses and chemical reaction is important
being a woman is important
being alive is important

and I need to be happy first
before others can be
before I can help others on their way to happy

and I always shy away from happy, preferring contentment. But I am ok with admitting

I don’t merely make myself happy; I am happiness.

“What I used to be
will pass away
and then you’ll see
that all I want now
is happiness
for you and me…

happiness.”

Living
Living
Living
in this city
right now
today
muggy
sweltering

fucking beautiful.

Whatever this connection is.

Complex, beautiful connections.

walking, moving, being, talking

H and I have been walking six mornings a week—even when we could be sleeping in butts, even when I’ve had too much to drink the previous evening. Happiness is just the simple act of being alive on summer mornings, walking through OUR neighborhood and seeing the same people and dogs and nodding/saying hello, reading the posted fliers about yard sales, missing cats and theives stealing car parts from people’s cars parked overnight on the street (ah, Baltimore…. our criminals can be so resourceful….) and just in generally being young healthy pretty things on the precipice.

So on these mornings we have some of the best talks. It’s still early so we haven’t entirely retreated into our shells and fortified the barriers between one another. Sometimes, surprisingly honest and tender and funny. Plus, I feel GOOD in the mornings as opposed to SHIT.

WALKING makes me HAPPY

Chatting about music with the cute boys who work at the record store. Makes me feel like a spring chicken again instead of an old, married lady. :)

My most favorite vegetable. Which is coming into season, so it’s fresh and lush and beautiful and everywhere right now. I had it twice so far this week. Today’s lunch was penne pasta with asparagus and pine nuts, from the wine merchant. so good. so so good. Life-altering good.

As I walked my way to get my pasta salad, I received the most hilarious text message from a friend: “I wanna watch you eat asparagus again” I laughed for several minutes.

Here are some fun facts about asparagus

1. Asparagus is a member of the Lily family.
2. Asparagus spears grow from a crown that is planted about a foot deep in sandy soils.
3. Under ideal conditions, an asparagus spear can grow 10” in a 24-hour period.
4. Each crown will send spears up for about 6-7 weeks during the spring and early summer.
5. The outdoor temperature determines how much time will be between each picking…early in the season, there may be 4-5 days between pickings and as the days and nights get warmer, a particular field may have to be picked every 24 hours.
6. After harvesting is done the spears grow into ferns, which produce red berries and the food and nutrients necessary for a healthy and productive crop the next season.
7. An asparagus planting is usually not harvested for the first 3 years after the crowns are planted allowing the crown to develop a strong fibrous root system.
8. A well cared for asparagus planting will generally produce for about 15 years without being replanted.
9. The larger the diameter, the better the quality!
10. Asparagus is a nutrient-dense food which in high in Folic Acid and is a good source of potassium, fiber, vitamin B6, vitamins A and C, and thiamin.
11. Asparagus has No Fat, contains No Cholesterol and is low in Sodium.

We’re watching Star Wars. Now referred to as A New Hope. I wish Lucas hadn’t tampered with it (ugh), but I can’t deny I love the original trilogy! Especially Han. Have we talked about my Han Solo collection? It’s big—packed away at my mum’s. I’m going to pretend the other movies never happened.

My job.

Having a great week at work. Met with several brides and bar/bat mitzvah parents, preliminary info gathering brides, but still. I am going to try to really try to be more aggressive with closing sales. I have yet to break the $1000 dollar mark on my own. However, I have a barmitzvah consultation appointment on Saturday first thing, and if they order it will be a good sale. Goal: I want to make a $1000 sale by myself within 2 weeks. Hopefully it’ll happen this Saturday, but if not, there’s plenty more people and plenty more parties.

Apart from all the $$$ talks, I spent Monday at the request of the store owner, making a pink and black themed window display. I used the line from the Byron poem, “All that’s best of dark and bright/ Meet in her aspect and her eyes” as my inspiration. It came out great.

I then made a green and black and white table display, moved a couple of fixtures around the store, and set up a table and chairs behind the green display. I set up the table as if someone was writing in the middle of writing a letter, decorated with a vase of sunflowers, a stationery set, a pair of reading glasses, and a half-written letter. So lame: read “Dear Sis, Spring has almost sprung! The tulip buds are stirring, and the birds are chirping! Soon we’ll all be wearing sandals…” Everyone loves it because it opened the space up, and got our customers to think spring!!!

The workday went by super-fast and one of the ladies I work with, a twenty-year veteran of the company, said the window was the best she’s ever seen. You never know, so I am going to take photographs and start a portfolio. I’m hoping she’ll let me do some more window displays. I have a whole page of ideas I’ve brainstormed. Hooray!

My bosses we’re very pleased! I’m dying to get my hands on their other store, Hannah Elizabeth. It’s a store housing “a collection for entertaining and weddings.” It’s so beautiful. Maybe someday…

And I’m such a dork I just drew up color plans for a window display for the new Vera Bradley Spring collection. I am going to bring it to work and wait for a good time to broach the subject.

I’m so happy and grateful that I have a job I love. One year ago, I never would have thought it possible. My retail background gave me the building blocks, and now I get to be creative. Love it!

Movies on the couch with my husband. We do this several times a week, but every time, it’s exciting. I guess that’s the joy of being a newlywed.

on a cold winter day:
a good book
and a cup of cocoa,
me and the purring cat
all under a cozy blanket