get control of my finances

Finally bucked up and opened a joint account with Hubby. It took some quelling of the urge to be in control, but obviously I cannot control my spending and he is much better at handling bills n’things. Also enrolled in a program at a non-profit to pay down my debt. I cried for two hours that day and Hubby and I went out for veggie burgers after, one last flush of the money-swallowing toilet, but it’s turning out all right. And now that we have a budget, we KNOW we have no money instead of blindly spending and going “Oh, shit! How are we going to pay that bill now?!” I feel at peace about it. I will be debt-free (except student loans—oi) in three years.

Scary, but it had to be done.

as i drove to work friday morning, i had a thought. I decided too see if I could go one entire day without spending any money. I know this sounds nuts to come people, but I seriously do spend money on something every single day. money i don’t have. anyway, it happened and I felt great about it. I can be a very competitive person so I thought I might challenge myself to not spend money this week, and to see what I do have to spend goes a long way. essentials. anyhow. i always always go to the bagel shop on my days off. I got a late start today and already felt ambivalent about going so late in the day… after killing time smoking way too much, I decided (like a lazy phead) to not go out. We had bagels and cream cheese and raspberry preserves. So it’s not as good, but maybe I’ll just go once a week. We’ll see. I just need to reign myself in. Neigh, Whinny.

From browsing my bank account activity over the past month, I see I spend way way way way way way too much money buying lunches at work every day. Really, the figure is embarrassing. So, I am packing a lunch, every day. Just have got to, no fucking around with money any longer.

Ali and I perused IKEA today.
What did I buy? Nothing.

That was difficult. They had baskets and magazine holders and art and storage bins and plate holders and boxes and shelves and plants and cups and placemats and candles and chairs and pillows that I fancied.

But I picked each item up, admired its beauty, and set it back down.

It’s the little battles…

in the middle at number 17 when it should be up higher on the list.

called citicard today to lower my usual payment while T is out of work.

either way, i have so much more due than i can even begin to pay at this point, but i’ve had no luck finding a second job. i want to pay bills on time and wholly. i need to stop ignoring this issue and start now so we can be debt free in a few years either a) to start our business or b) to move to canada.

i’m a mess in this department right now. it’s really difficult for me to admit and to ever say i need help, but here it is.

time to steer the S.S. Frugal back to safe port.

stop. fucking. wasting. fucking. money!!!!

-lunch at work ($4-15 a day!!!) DAILY, I WILL PACK MY OWN
-clothes, shoes (I have 2 full walk in closets)
-other shit i don’t need (office supplies, exotic fruit, books, furniture, fancy tea etc)
-finance charges when i pay my bills late (credit is in the toilet right now)
-eating out 5 nights a week
-itunes
-everything else

from now on its: gas and basic groceries, paying bills, saving the rest!!!

I need to stop it. Seriously. I got my bad habits from my parents, but they’ve revolutionized their finances and are becoming debt-free so they can build a ski lodge in maine. I want to start now so it’s not a struggle when I am 40. Bleh. If they can do it, so can I!!!