Create a life plan

i certainly changed my mind from when i was 16 about what i wanted in life and i’m sure i’ll change it again when i’m 48, 64, etc. i think i’ve been focusing too much on how it is i can get everything i want to get done in the 53 some-odd years i have left on this earth. the fact of the matter is, there are no guarantees that i’m going to be around that long. if i’m lucky enough to be here until a ripe old age, there is no guarantee that i’ll be healthy and wealthy enough to do the things i want to do. i’ve decided that it’s time to stop putting stuff off for whatever reason (time, money, lame excuses, etc.) and to just do the stuff i want to do. i’ll figure out a way to do it along the way. now, if i can just do this without panicking, i’ll be in good shape.

i think i’ve been focusing on the specific stuff too much. i need to identify what it is i want to do, but i think it’s finally clicked that i need to think more about the process and less about the specific goals and accomplishments. with that in mind, i know i want the following things (at least as i sit here and write this, i do):

to travel a lot
to stay healthy
not to waste time and money
to be frugal, but not stingy
to spend quality time with my friends and family
not to let my job/career dictate what it is i can do and when i can do it
not to spend my life in front of the t.v.
to do something that makes a difference in the world and/or in people’s lives

right off the top of my head, i think that about sums it up. sure, i will need some specific stuff in there, but i think i’m going to take it as it comes, and revisit the direction i’m heading periodically to make sure i’m not getting off-track.

strangely, i feel like this goal is done. i’ll need to make a point to keep writing about this in one way or one place or another, though, to make sure i don’t get off course, or worse, forget about this altogether (yikes!).

please keep me updated on your progress. you have all been a tremendous help to me.

all the best,
pfeffy

i think it would be nice to plan how i want my day to go when i get up, or perhaps the night before. it may involve getting specific tasks done or it may be to find someone or something i’ve been searching for, but i really don’t like the idea of wasted days. that’s how i feel like today went. sure, i was productive at work, but i’ve been bummed out all day and it makes me sad to think that there goes one more of my days out the window and i didn’t really enjoy myself.

i’m almost 32 and i think (at least right now as i write this) that i would like to have accomplished the following things by the time i’m 35:

1. finish my master’s degree
2. pay off all our debts (the credit cards specifically need to be done by august 2007)
3. buy a house
4. make a decision about what career path i would like to follow instead of accounting
5. have traveled to norway, lake tahoe, and perhaps one of my 43places in Canada or Alaska

i think it might help me to think about this in terms of milestones. what do i want to have accomplished by the time i’m:

35
40
50
60
70
80
85
....?

yes, i’ve checked another book out from the library. what can i say? i need a little assistance with this stuff. so this book so far has addressed some of the same things that “what the bleep…” did: making a decision about how you want to live your life, avoiding victimization/choosing responsibility, taking risks, etc. it’s good for me to have this kind of reinforcement.

anyway, i don’t know what it was i read or what i was thinking about that got me on this train of thought, but it occurred to me that, if i’m lucky, i probably only have about 53 years left on this planet. yikes. holy crap. a quote included in the book applies here (from “the shawshank redemption”): ’ either get busy living or get busy dying.’ ain’t that the truth. needless to say, i’ve got some work ahead of me. i mean, just looking at my 43places alone, i’m running out of time. i gotta get crackin’.

if you haven’t already seen this movie, check it out.

talk about making your life happen for yourself. there are no uncertain terms about the message of this movie: only you make your own reality, not your boss or your parents, no one else. it’s high time to start owning up to where you are in life and figure out where you want to go. most importantly, once you figure it out – start making it happen. wow.

i know charlie said he didn’t want to discourage anyone from going to law school, but something tells me he’s not mincing words about what being a lawyer is really like

i’m definitely still interested in it, every class i actually enjoyed in college involved law, but so far, that doesn’t make a convincing case to go jump in with both feet. i’m sure i can still dabble, take a few classes and what-not, if i go the public admin route.

it’s the idealist in me. waaay back when i was in high school, when i wasn’t thinking about being a famous broadway performer, i wanted to save trees. since that route didn’t materialize for a variety of reasons, i’ve ended up where i am, a mild-mannered accountant, but sadly, without the super-hero alter-ego to balance it out. and so, i think on some level i still feel that tug to do good, to “be the change i wish to see in the world.” hence, the desire to bail on bean counting and go get my degree in public admin or my JD.

but then, the what-ifs and the yeah, buts start to creep in: “what if i don’t like it?” “what if it’s not what i expect it to be?” “what if after a few months i hate the whole thing and the bloom is off the rose faster that you can say whatever you would say to someone in this situation?” “what about all the potentially dumb and ignorant people i could encounter if i go this route?” (o.k., i realize that sounds totally elitist, but i don’t have much tolerance for narrow-minded, non-sensical folks.)

but yet, i still feel the pull. more research, more research…

and something i saw at a gift shop over the weekend has come to mind, too:

what would i do if i knew i could not fail?

i’m going to have to spend some time contemplating this. i really do wonder any more what would make me happy if i had to do it every day for the next 35-40 years. obviously, i’m thinking mainly about my career here. aside from that, i have a pretty good idea of what i would like to do (travel, cook, take art classes as well as other academic subjects, etc.).

it’s so hard for me to imagine what i could do with my life when i know i have so many responsibilities where i am. at the same time, i know i don’t want to look back at my life and be really proud of the fact that i made a lot of good lists, was really good at paying the bills on time and kept up with the laundry. at the end of my life, none of that stuff really matters. i wouldn’t be able to abandon those things altogether (again, that is not in my nature) but i’ve got to shove that stuff over and make some room on the other side for things that are actually fulfilling, challenging, and expand my horizons. i want to have stories i can tell.