stop pulling my hair

So I did better today than yesterday, but still pulled about 5 hairs, which is pretty bad considering that all the right elements were there for a pull free day; Namely, my hair is freshly washed and down, I slept well, am eating ok, and I’m not bored or stressed out. So if on such a perfectly balanced day, I STILL can’t hold back…that’s not a good sign.

Additionally, I bent down to pull up my headphones, and noticed a hair sticking up from the wheel of my office chair, upon closer inspection, I found about a weeks worth of pulling wound around just one wheel. I’m loathe to check the other wheels…

So I used to post here sporadically, mostly when it was really easy for me not to pull. Lately it’s getting harder and harder. My biggest fear is that it will really start to show. Especially since I recently started pulling from the front. EEP.

So I’m going to go with 5 day increments.

Tommorow is day one.

Hey y’all

I see alot of new “faces” round here. I’m not quite sure why I stopped posting, since I certainly havent stopped pulling.

One huge thing i’ve noticed is the common theme that we may never fully overcome this habit, but we can learn to manage and control it. NOT. hahah.

Bottom line is, there will always be ups and downs – That’s not to say i won’t try my damndest to kick the habit. Starting now, my goal is not going to be about time, but about making more of an effort to do the things that help me avoid urges.

1) I will wash my hair EVERY single morning no matter how late i wake up.

2) When on the computer at home, I’ll put on a bandana.

3) When a trance starts, I will stop after 5 hairs and get up, walk around, wash my face (helps for some reason).

Yesterday i pulled about 3 hairs, which is still pretty good for me, last week was pretty bad, pulling-wise. I got a haircut recently, and my hair was finally nice and even, and pretty full, but after last week, i noticed that i suddenly have lots of short hairs, and the longer layers are much longer and thinner than the rest of the my hair.

But here’s to 2 days (almost) pull free!

2$ towards my iPod.

woohoo! after goodness knows how many months, i’m back!

It’s 4 pm now and I havent pulled a single hair.

Work is finally calming down with the launch of a big project (that cost me an obscene amount of hairs) and I’m just going to start thinking postively.

It’s the part I loved about this site when i first found it, that nobody was sitting around moaning over how miserable they are, but at the same time, not doing anythign about it.

So from now on, unless things go waay downhill, no more emotional rants. I’m just going to focus on getting better.

BTW, something I have found that helps, Every morning when i sign on to msn, I change my name to Phoebe – Day 1, or day 2 whatever, depending on how many days I’ve gone without pulling.

the majority of ppl on my list have no clue what it refers to but they cheer me on nonetheless.

My life currently stinks and royally so. One day i was sitting around pulling, and trying to stop but not succeeding and i had this new thought – this is the only thing that relaxes me. When I’m pulling everything else that bothers me comes to a halt, and I can think for hours on end with no distraction.

At one point this weekend I was stressed out over work, and pulling while reading emails from colleages telling me to come into work on sunday (!), and my mom came up behind me and said “stop pulling” i shot back at her “when you have a day like mine, you can tell me to stop pulling”.

I used to want to stop SO badly. Now i just want life to get better so pulling isnt my only comfort.

Sorry for rambling on, and really sorry if i’ve made any of you feel like there’s no point in stopping.

Yours truly. That’s who.

I was at, i think, 11 days as of friday a week ago. and now i’m basically at ground zero again.

And i don’t know how to get back to where i was. I don’t know what got me through those 11 days, and all i know is that i had such a whirlwind week, i couldnt even think about abstaining, pulling being the one thing that was getting me through.

The worst part, is that when you do fall off the track, you can undo all the good you did, in just a couple hours of pulling.

I’d love to say this is day one of restarting, but i just don’t know.

Ok, i messed up big time today. I’ve pulled out like 5 hairs, and i’m in a total trance where even if i’m not pulling, i’m messing around with my hair till it looks like a birdsnest.

so my question is, do i consider this…as tho my 11 days don’t count anymore?

Something tells me that’s detrimental. So what i’ll do is, the 11 days count, but i don’t put any money towards the stuff i want for today.

Still tho, i can’t believe i messed up. biggest mistake was not washing my hair this am. Plus today is super stressful as i’m on vacay next week, so gotta wrap up a lot at work.

still goin strong!

although, i have to admit, over these 11 days there has been the couple “woops, i didnt mean to pull that out”, like once every other day, which i don’t count because:

a) when i pull by accident, it’s not the same as when i find a hair i want to pull, and deliberate over not pulling it out, and then lose the battle, and pull it out anyways.

b) the few times it’s happened i’ve been so shocked by it that i just throw away the hair and don’t touch my hair again.

I’ve always had really good rationalization skills for my errors, if i do say so myself ;)

All that aside. 11$ to the stuff i want!

10 days! it’s getting easier, believe it or not.

I straightened my hair this morning, (it’s usually really curly), and there’s TONS of little stickup hairs, and my hair is really thin at the ends. I should get it cut, but i’m not ready to see a hairdresser yet. The last time i went he assumed i was thinning my hair on purpose and kept saying “see this part how thin it is? and how many short hairs you have!”. GRR.

but in any case, 10 days is amazing, and it’s been SO much easier to get work done without falling into a trance every 10minutes.