Fall in love

Yes, I have been in love with the same guy for all this time.
Except he is now my best friend, partner in crime and just one of the most amazing people I have ever met.

My feelings for him are different but still quite intense. But I know he is not ready for any kind of relationship right now. Besides, I believe he knows too much about me and my troubles to try and get together. But that’s fine, I guess. I chose him as a friend and I could not have done anything for the last year without his support.

I showed up when he is was hanging around with some friends and immediately said we should get a drink. So he ditched everyone to see me :p
We spent something like two hours together but it was great. I can feel he’s at ease around me, like he could do or say anything. I’m so proud of that! I want to make him feel comfortable around me, like there’s no pressure and he doesn’t have to use his autority.
He made a detour to drop me at my flat (and to finish our conversations), which was cute :)
But it has already been 8 days and I’m missing him like crazy.

So much happened since my last entry.
We saw each other. Again: A few days after my last entry (because I was leaving the next day)(and it was great), a few days after I got back (and before I left for another destination) and yesterday. So yes: pretty much every time we had a chance!

I really really like him. And truly care about him. But I also know he’s kind of an emotional cripple so … I’m not rushing things. Just taking my time and enjoying the times together =)

I stopped taking advice from people around me; I was so getting so many comments on my behavior around me … It made me feel inappropriate and un-spontaneous.

I know we’ve come a long way. At least, I know I’ve evolved a lot since I met him; and I’ll probably always be grateful for that.

And he did say what I did was “adorable”; which is a word I would have never pictured him saying =)

Yes, this is the almost same entry than in my “Understand men” goal!

He asked me (again!) to have lunch with him. I’m surprised we still did not run out of things to say. And I’m glad I could really tell him how I felt.
I didn’t pour my heart out: I just mentioned that I didn’t feel we were equals in this relationship and that he cared too much about what others thought about him. It really was a good discussion.
I also told him about this website (and the “Understand men” goal). He said he sure was not the easiest guy to understand; but, I really feel like I’m getting to know him better.
Before leaving, he said he felt like he was always the one calling me. So I called him the next day but he was not available. I also called him because we had talked about going back to the hospital together. He didn’t pick up; rather, he hang up on me.
He actually phoned back later that afternoon; saying he could not answer because he was in a meeting. I wasn’t getting any signal anymore so the phone call cut short but I’m glad he explained himself.

Oh! and he absolutely wanted to check out my profile in this website. I thought telling me what my goals were would make him stop but …’nope, he still wanted the link! Obviously, I won’t give him ^^

So … we’re there. =)

Already 8 entries on this goal!

Yesterday, I spent the evening with K. (the third year student). It went great. I really love spending time with him.
So this is no surprise when I say I think I’m falling for him.

Thing is: when I chose this goal, I meant I wanted to be loved back. So we’ll see. Things are going well and there are signs of affection. But I’m getting mixed advices from my friends and I’m now kind of lost.

Last year, I met a guy who is now a third year student (I’m in 2nd year). My friend who introduced us warned me he was sort of a “prom king” and had a girlfriend. So, obviously, I found him gorgeous ;)

Tell a kid not to go over there, and that’s the first place he’ll try

Anyway: it was just a physical thing; though I was impressed by his “perfectness” (clever, handsome, nice, generous…). I also quickly realized he had a big ego :D

We work every morning at the same place and he taught me a lot of things. My friend who introduced us told me he was single and was surprised that I considered him “perfect”. He told me to get to know him in order to put him down this pedestal.

And now, I can’t help it but … I want to be with him.
I talked about it with a friend. He believes that love is an “overall” feeling: feeling good when the other one is around, taking him for what he is (not the sum of his qualities).
Thing is: he has a lot of features I’m looking for in a guy + I love when he is around.

So … ?

I do not trust him yet. I do not know what to think about him.
And especially, I don’t know what he’s thinking about me.

And it was bad.
It ended up with me calling him to say I wanted to meet him. I wanted to tell him I didn’t want to see him anymore.
Thing is: I got his girlfriend on the phone that day. So it was much easier to let it go.
He recently told my mom that he was serious about me but we’ll see what he’s going to do about that.

Since then, I got to work with a guy from third year who is absolutely gorgeous. I’ve been “crazy” about him for a year now and … now that I’m getting to know him, it’s getting worse.

We were supposed to meet tonight but he didn’t call back.
So, I just called. And this is not ridiculous. I did it because I wanted to see him and didn’t care about dating rules.

His friend answered the phone and he was really nice. He told me he would tell him to call me back. I think he knows how it went last night =)

Thing is: I met someone and we are really connecting.
So … we’ll see !