Learn to say no

A 4th year student lent me some books in June but we never seemed to be able to meet up so that I could give them back to her.
She wouldn’t have her phone with her or just couldn’t be there the whole summer.
She started sending me some harsh text messages but I didn’t flinch. She was wrong and I wasn’t gonna fold.
Turns out she calmed down a little and we’re supposed to meet tomorrow.
Of course, I couldn’t help but feel guilty all day long.

One of my high school friends tried to convince me again to come with them.
I had to say “no” again. She wrote two days before leaving which makes me think that she’s either a procrastinator or not really caring whether I come or not.
She would have invited me to parties she went to, she would have written to keep me posted when I was the one asking for news …

But I can’t help feeling guilty. I’m not feeling bad because they’re having fun together, without me; I just care a little. I haven’t talked to most of these people for almost 2 years: why would it make a difference now?

Yesterday, my aunt came over at my flat.
As I didn’t have my medication with me, I knew taking a walk with her wouldn’t be a good idea. I did so anyway to please her; when she refused to take the subway, I didn’t say anything.
Now, my legs hurt and I feel stupid!

Some friends from high school are going on holiday together and invited me.
I don’t want to go because:
- I don’t get along very well with them anymore
- I don’t like the area they’re going to
- I would not be able to spend that much time there

So I just said NO. Feels pretty good ;)

... sometimes is about saying “yes”.
Taking chances, opportunities you are given because they might not come around again. Take them because you deserve them and because you have to put yourself first sometimes.

I guess that’s life. It doesn’t make you a bad person.

I met a guy from my class a few days ago and decided to go to an event he was organizing (to please him, really).

I saw him today and he made fun of my weight. Maybe it was supposed to be fun but every guy should know girls hate it when it’s about their weight.

I told him I wasn’t going to his thing anymore.

... But, as I am LAAAAME, I accepted to do a “détour” to drop some things at our school on my way home. (And found out it was unuseful + wasn’t thanked).

I hate this.

Today was more about saying “yes”.

Someone offered to show me a cardiac echography and I went. But promised my friend she’d see the next “cool” thing :)

Although I bring this guy up everytime I eat with my dad, he’s not giving up.

I will see him on Wednesday and already can’t wait for this to be over.

Funny thing is that my Dad encouraged me to say no sometimes.
But I can’t say no to him.

He wants me to hang out with this guy I literally hate; just because we need to get along with his parents. I first had to spend a week during the holidays with him and his friends (and I hated it). Then, I had to help him with studies but he would not listen to what I said and failed. He gave up around march.
But I also had to pretend I was his friend. Once, I could not control myself and told him he was childish, that his parents were in the middle of the relationship and that I would never marry him :p (because it felt like one of those arranged marriages). But he didn’t understand. He didn’t understand I could not stand him.
I can’t deal with it anymore. I told my dad seeing him was putting me down but he still wants me to.
I’m stuck.

I asked a third-year student if I could come see a patient with him.
Another girl wanted to come with us and he said it would be best if we were only two to go.
I offered the other girl to accompany him but he said that I had asked him first so … I went !
I was glad he was the one to choose.