be more positive

It’s still a struggle to compete with negative thoughts. Work responsibility has changed a bit and it is making me a happier camper which makes positive thinking a bit more doable. Although I am not one to place myself on a pedestal it helps to look back at things I have accomplished. I’ve been a bit emotional this last week…I must stop watching Animal Planet SPCA shows and Discovery Health channel. The sunshine has improved my mood greatly and I’m starting to laugh more. Work will always present negative thoughts- another goal may be to reconsider my career. Need to make time for more deep, cleansing breaths.

It’s been awhile since adding to this goal. I started a new job and it stressed me out to no end. I started working as a therapist for a drug and alcohol program which also treats their mental illness. The clients have been extremely challenging- alot of rude and disrespectful people. I walked into my office crying several times from the pressure.

It’s been extremely difficult being positive these last few months. I have been training for a 1/2 marathon as part of a fundraising thing- so I had to raise a couple thousand dollars (talk about stressful!) It hasn’t been easy for me to be positive.

I’m trying to get back to being more positive. I have time to really work on myself and do what I need to do. Things are changing. The 1/2 marathon is complete and the job responsibilities will be changing. cheers to a new start!

Over the last week the things that should have sent me over the edge but didn’t-
1)...had been working with my boss to order a new comp. chair for my desk- the company decided to order for the whole staff- they ordered 4 and we needed 5. The boss said we needed to ‘draw straws’ even though I was the one requesting the new chairs because the old ones made my back hurt. (I have since started my vacation so I have no idea if I even got a chair….aggravated me but I didn’t get too worked up about it…ok, so I’m still ticked…hahah…but not as much)

2) washer and dryer were expected to arrive Wed- nobody from the store bothered to call me to let me know the washer still didn’t arrive from their warehouse- so now I have to wait until I don’t know when to get it…deep breath

3) The glass bead I made at Corning Museum 2 weeks ago- a birthday present to myself- still has not arrived- the rest of my friends who made glass pieces have had theirs for over a week. pout
The little things like spilling something or not getting something right the first time have not pained me as much as usual. I’ve just got to keep breathing and push out the sour thoughts.

I can feel a nice calmness. I notice that I can laugh at my mistakes more often. I feel unaffected by other’s negativity and able to help them deal with feelings of anger. I recently set the goal to get a new job- which actually would be helping me get away from some great feelings of negativity at work. My new job starts in about 3 weeks -seeing that I have made a change for myself helps as a positive focus. I try to embrace these big changes as an opportunity to keep an open mind about staying positive for a longer period of time. Without positive thinking I don’t believe I could have made a job switch happen.

I found myself making some really negative judgements about people last week. Even AS I was thinking them I would say to myself “why are you being so negative?” I really don’t know what was happening. I’ve been considering a job transfer and feeling torn between 2 positions so I’m going to guess that was eating at me.

Yesterday and today seemed to calm down for me. Oddly enough, I am about 80% positive that I know which job to take. I guess I tend to externalize my feelings of frustration and trying to be positive during that time can be tricky.

Letting go of some things that initially felt devastating has been helpful in being more positive. Instead of feeling trapped, I’m making steps to find my way out of things creatively. Reminding myself that things don’t have to be negative and learn acceptance. I’m also trying to express positive things to the people around me.

Did much better this week in stopping some negative thoughts and let them go. Oddly enough, my supervisor announced that she is trying “not to be so negative.” So I suggested, “Wouldn’t it be better to say ‘be more positive’?” She agreed- I think it would be alot of work to refrain from negativity- I’d be beating myself up over it.

Did ok with positive thinking until Thurs- situation at work and I snapped at a co-worker. I’m thinking about apologizing for how I responded and realize I could have said it in a better tone of voice. I struggle with thinking how she does not like me and continue to re-visit times when she has said subtle things to make me look incompetent. I’m trying to move on from worrying about these things but it’s so hard!

Played poker Sat. night and was very positive- I won! Yay me! I’m trying to balance positive times/thoughts when a negative thought pops up. Also trying to refrain from gossiping.

I am going to work on stopping myself when I have a negative thought. This will probably be accompanied by some deep breathing. I have noticed that I have been more judgemental lately and believe it has been a result of work stress. Staff is getting some more support this week so I hope that it will help encourage me to refrain from the negativity. One month smoke-free as well- whee! (probably the biggest reason for increased negativity) deep breath