stop gossiping

I took 3 days off from work- so I had the last 5 days gossip-free. That seems to be the most toxic environment for me. Met up with a former co-worker from a past job and didn’t really respond with my own opinions about anyone mentioned. I’m also starting a new job in a week so I feel like I have a fresh new start. I have made the plan to be more aware of when I am speaking poorly about someone else.

I couldn’t help myself again the last few days. At least I am trying to only say something to somebody if they were a witness to whatever it is that is burning me up- and I just have to say something. raps on head people are not really stupid- you are just too impulsive

Ok, so the week went so-so. At the very least I am maintaining awareness of my weakness to speak…well, poorly of others. Yes, this is difficult, I didn’t imagine it would be something that would tickle me pink or anything. I’ve even confided in another co-worker that I am trying to refrain from gossip/talking about others. I think I have had some influence over others as well. It really bothered me that someone came into my office venting about something for which I opened my mouth up about only days earlier.

So, the goal for now is to keep the awareness and start to just refrain from spewing like ammunition. Something bad is bound to happen to me if I don’t stop.

I’m learning more about myself and my behaviors. Although it is not an excuse, it has helped to learn about the A.D.D. traits I possess and the way my brain is “wired.” As far as gossip goes- it has shown me how impulsive I tend to be. I am taking more steps to stop before speaking about things that don’t really change my life. I’m learning to recognize that the gossip is an emotional reaction to something. It’s not really helping me in any way right now. I haven’t convinced myself that I will be able to eliminate my impulse to gossip but I think I will be able to control it a bit more now with some patience.

Of course, I had a couple days off from work- which is where the worst gossip is for me. I kept rather quiet and limited my socializing with other co-workers to help me get through the week. I slipped up a couple times and even told someone that I am making an effort to refrain from any blasphemous verbiage in the office. I’ve got better things to worry about, right?

I simply feel like I cannot help myself with gossip at work and sometimes with friends. It usually does not strike me until after I have said something that I really should not be saying anything! It makes me kind of angry at myself for not being able to keep my mouth shut. My gossip is pretty vicious- I don’t bother with petty things like people and their money- more like their actions and how stupid I think they are.

I’ve started thinking about optimistic conversation with others- ask how things are in life or ask for an update on something positive- to keep the focus off me and my desire to gossip about someone. People like to talk about themselves anyway- why should I do it behind their back for them? I feel as though I have corrupted some new employees- like I am just luring them into my cauldron of gossip or something.

I am determined to stop this behavior- in the long run I imagine it wouldn’t make me look very trustworthy. There will always be something to gossip about- I just want to be the person who listens and doesn’t report it all!