drink alcohol in moderation

I guess my taste for beer is back…but not in a bad way. For each Stanley Cup Final game I’ve watched (three) I’ve drank one beer for each. (Saturday, Monday & Wednesday.) One is enough for me.

I think the one beer made me sleepy last night because I fell asleep before the third period was over.

LET’S GO RED WINGS!!

Still no drinking. Now that’s actually 2 months with absolutely no alcohol but 6 months since I decided I wasn’t going to drink. I have no desire to have any and if I do it will most likely be one beer during dinner.

I’m not going to click the “I’ve done this” button until I’m in a situation where there is alcohol, where I might be tempted by it and/or someone saying to me “Just one won’t hurt!” Not to say that I’m so easily influenced by what other people say or do but you never know…that day could be a bad, stressful day and a drink or two might then sound good…but I highly doubt it at this moment.

I didn’t drink for the whole month of March. I’m shocked and proud! I don’t miss it anymore. When my man and I go out to eat where they serve alcohol, I briefly think “Do I want a drink? No, it doesn’t even sound good.” We went to Red Robin last weekend and I was looking at the margaritas on the menu and then I thought about my acid reflux and it wouldn’t have been worth the discomfort…or the extra calories.

I had one beer when we went to Greektown (again) on Feb. 24th. That same night we saw Foo Fighters. When we got to the venue I thought I wanted another beer but after taking a few sips I just couldn’t drink it. So I poured some in my man’s cup and threw the rest out. I have not had any alcohol since.

I had one beer on Saturday. I went to Greektown in Detroit, with my man, to my favorite restaurant and I wanted one of their greek beers. It was delicious and went really well with the food. I did feel a little guilty though…BUT (and this is a big but) I did not want another one after that. All I wanted was the one and that’s all I had. I was afraid that if I had one I would want more and then end up drinking too much that night…so I did good. Except for that one night, I still don’t feel like drinking and I haven’t had any besides that one.

I was just listening to Alter Bridge (my fav band) like I do just about every day. For some reason the lyrics from Buried Alive really hit me today…so I thought I’d share them.

Buried Alive
I twist and turn
In the darkest space
Can’t find my worth
As I numb the pain

Glass to the sky
With a blacktooth grin
This whiskey smile
Takes me down again

I’m cold and I’m so afraid
That I’m too weak and I can’t change

I’ve been buried alive and
I don’t want to be here anymore
Reached out a thousand times for
A hand to pull me from below
I’ve been buried alive in a world
Of constant sorrow
Reach down tonight and set me free…
Save tomorrow

Another shot
Slip into the haze
Another night
Soaked in my disgrace

Toast to the lie
I’ll raise my glass and run
A wasted life
What have I become?

I’ve been buried alive and
I don’t want to be here anymore
Reached out a thousand times for
A hand to pull me from below
I’ve been buried alive in a world
Of constant sorrow
Reach down tonight and set me free…
Save tomorrow

Save tomorrow
Save tomorrow

Let me breathe again
Show me where I begin
To find the will to change
Before I lose everything
Before I lose everything

I’ve been buried alive and
I don’t want to be here anymore
Reached out a thousand times for
A hand to pull me from below
I’ve been buried alive in a world
Of constant sorrow

Reach down tonight and set me free
And I will follow
I’ve been buried alive

The second month was harder than the first. The first month I didn’t think about drinking, this month I did but I still didn’t want it enough that I couldn’t resist. I did stare at the wine & beer section when I passed it in the grocery store. People at work still can’t believe I’m not drinking.

It’s been a month since I’ve had any alcohol. I don’t miss it and I no longer want it anymore.

Next Thursday (12/13) is our company christmas lunch (no alcohol is served) and after it the director of my department invited the whole department out to go bowling. It will definitely be a drinking function. I might go just to show my face but I don’t want to stick around if everyone’s going to be drinking (and they sure can drink!). I don’t know if I can be in that situation and not be tempted to drink. I guess the only way to find out is to actually put myself in that situation.

Would you like to know how stupid I am? I was invited to a neighbor’s house warming party so I thought I would be neighborly and go over there. Well, most of them were all 10 years younger than me and they were having fun drinking so I absent-mindedly was having fun drinking too. There were jello shots and beer drinking games. Well, I ended up crawling home and I think I passed out on the couch for alittle bit until I was woken up by my sudden need to throw up. I threw up on my new carpet :( (but I got the stain out). I remember stumbling to the bed and falling down a few times on the way. The next day I probably threw up another 10 times. Then my hypoglycemia really kicked in and I felt like I was going to die. I still feel slightly nauseous today. I really screwed up! I definitely reached the end of my rope on this one. I never want to feel that way again. I obviously have a problem with being around people that are drinking alcohol…it just makes me drink and drink way too much. If I’m at home alone, I drink two then I’m done. So, for now, I will refrain from going anywhere that there will be people drinking. Hopefully I can get over the feeling of needing to drink when others are drinking.

Good quote that was on the side of the page while I was typing this:
“Men’s natures are alike; it is their habits that separate them.”
- Confucius

I could have chosen the goal “Stop Drinking Alcohol” but I know that I would not stop drinking it completely and studies show that a drink a day is good for you. That’s not to say that I drink every day but one occassional glass of wine or beer is not going to kill me. What I want to stop doing is going out on Fridays and drinking WAY too much. Like last Friday I had probably around 9 beers and 1 shot in 8 hours. Then I paid for it all weekend…I felt so miserable. I should never drink that much anyways because 1) I’m hypoglycemic and 2) I have acid reflux.

The problem is, I love beer way too much…but I will try my hardest and not buy beer to take home and I probably should stop going to the bar on Friday nights. A bunch of us from work go out almost every payday, which is every other Friday and that’s when we get crazy with the drinking.