have a baby

robin christine born at home 2-24-08 8 lb 5 oz 18 inches!

I found out last week that I am indeed pregnant! I am so thrilled. Due late Feb. 2008.

It’s happening! We’re starting to try and have a baby. Yay!

Wanting to have a baby has made me look at my current life with a new perspective. On one hand, I’m appreciating what I have now more. I see my husband and our cats, and our life, and appreciate that we can laze around on a Saturday with few cares, and that a loong night of schoolwork is doable. I want a baby, but I know that it will have to wait a little bit.

I also look at our life right now and am a bit alarmed at our financial situation. It’s not desperate by any means, but it’s certainly not where we need to be if we have a baby. We need to take this pre-baby time to enjoy ourselves, and work to get things in order so that a baby is a joy and not the instigation of stress and crisis (at least financially).

Probably won’t happen for at least a year… but it’s still out there as something I really want to do. We’ve been married for almost 3 years but w/ grad school, it’s hard to know when a “good” time to have a baby is (esp. since we don’t make much money!).

I’m a doula and have been a nanny for over a decade, so I know what it means to have children (and twins – I’ve worked with a lot of twins). It’s more work than most people can imagine. I don’t want to enter into that lightly or as if the baby will be all cute and perfect and make my life so happy. I expect my kids will be demanding, needy, messy, and distracting. Of course, I will love them so much for it, but I know how much parenthood changes your life, and don’t want to be like, “I want two boys and two girls and all their names will begin with D!” Kids aren’t accessories to life. So when I talk about having kids, I don’t have a gender preference (although I have a lot of names picked out), and I don’t have any ideas for nursery decorations or anything. I just feel like I’m at a point in my life where I’m ready to feel that intense love, and I want to meet my children.