control my drinking

I work Mon.-Fri. and mostly find it possible to have 0 or 1 drink on a worknight. I definitely notice it when I wake up in the morning and the first few hours of work. I feel more alert and eager to start the day if I have not had a few drinks the night before. I’m still drinking 2-5/day on the weekends, and finding that I sleep late and feel lazy on the days after I have been drinking. Not worth it, but I do so enjoy my well-deserved weekend mai-tais! Now that the workweek is under control, I may choose to cut back on the weekends as well. I need to gain back the time that I waste sleeping in and lazing around after I have overindulged.

Went to southern Calif. for the long weekend. Had 2 (delicious!) margaritas at El Coyote Cafe near Hollywood on Saturday. I needed a nap afterward. One should have been enough, but I only started feeling the first one after I had already ordered the second. Should have waited. On Sunday had a burger at some English pub place in Santa Monica and had a 16 oz. Black & Tan to go with it. Abstained Monday and plan to continue abstinence until next weekend.

I just changed this goal from “Stop drinking alcohol” to “control my drinking”. I am really happy with how I am now, so it wouldn’t be fair to say that I’m actually making an effort to stop altogether. Many people at 43 Things have stopped, and that’s so great! I don’t mean to put myself in the same category as that kind of achievement, although I am proud of the changes I have made and am finding that moderation mostly works for me.

I’ve gotten to the point where I will go several days with zero drinks, and maybe have one or two with dinner here and there. Last night I had a bunch because of a Happy Hour and dinner thing, and definitely noticed it in decreased sleep quality and lack of focus at work. I feel more productive on weekends these days. I get plenty of sleep and still wake up early enough to get some things done (housework, exercise, study) before noon! I want to say I’ve done this now, but I’ll give it some more time to make sure it sticks!

Damn. Spent time with my good friend before she moves away next week and had 4 beers on a worknight. Hardly falling-down-drunk or anything, but I definitely feel it this morning. Damn.

The only time I ever stopped drinking, I lost weight, felt great, left my husband, and had a wonderful couple of years. I have gradually gone back to drinking more regularly than ever. I crave drinks, don’t even feel much of a ‘high’, but wind up with horrific hangovers that ruin my productivity at work. I’m 20 lbs. heavier than I want to be and read Yvonne’s entry about losing 20 lbs. in 4 months of not drinking. I want that. But I don’t know if I want to be one of those “I don’t drink” or “won’t touch a drop” characters. So my goal is to never have more than 2 in a day. Yesterday I had one beer around 4pm while I was cooking dinner, and then a half while eating.