not take things so personally

I cannot believe I still do this but I do! I make EVERYTHING ABOUT ME! It’s not about me…good lord! My soul and esteem is so easily crushed, geesh! I need to toughen up!

I am…everything is not about ME. For example, I have no doubt that the guy I’m having issues with doesn’t think I’m funny, smart and beautiful. It’s not me. He’s not in the same place as me. He IS being disrespectful by not just saying exactly how he feels (because however he feels is OK!) but it’s not me.

I need to stop…seriously, I need to stop with this bullshit.

b/c the following has happened to me today and I can’t help but not take any of it personally:

1) A “friend” keeps putting me off to get together…he doesn’t want to see me out nor does he want to go do anything with me. We’ve been “friends” for 8 years! Has anyone seen that episode about “secret sex” on Sex and the City? That’s how I feel. I didn’t realize I was a dog until today.

2) My best friend has cancelled every plan we’ve made for the past 3-4 weeks. She doesn’t want to talk to me on the phone, she doesn’t want to get together for lunch, she doesn’t want to just hang out. She’s been my best friend for almost 7 years. I have been in the hospital and it was difficult when I got back. I also think she’s upset with me b/c I broke up with my boyfriend, whom she really liked. I’m heart-broken about this.

3) I am head of my department at work but there is a new guy here who is all of sudden is authority on my business and is pretty much taking charge of doing everything. I’ve been here for 8 years and he’s been here for 9-10 months…and he is like THE authority on my department. I’m getting pushed out, I know it. And you know what else, I’m not fighting him for position. I’ve been here long enough to not have to do that and if they think I need to then obviously I shouldn’t be working here any more.

I ask you, how can I not take those things personally?

This is so damn hard…dammit. I’m so f-ing sensitive about everything! ACK!

my BFF sent me a little thank you note and she was so sweet in it. She said that she “cherishes and loves me but doesn’t tell me nearly enough.” That was precious…I think she’s just going through a hard time right now. Seriously.

Last night, my BFF told me I needed to find some new friends. Not meaning we’re not friends anymore but SHE has other friends outside of our “circle” and each other and she was telling me I needed to find other friends. I felt like the little nerdy girl in high school that the most popular girl picks as her “charity case.” Thanks a lot.

I feel like a social leper! I feel like everyone is pissed off at me! I’m sorry that I like to be by myself and that’s what I did this weekend. Of course now my phone isn’t ringing…you’ve got to give to receive, I guess, right?

Two people unsubscribed from me…boo.

One of my friends is in a career field that I am dying to be in (I’m trying to start my own company in that field but…in the meantime). It pisses me off that she won’t even acknowledge that I’m interested in that field AND she complains about it when I’m around knowing good and well that I would do ANYTHING to do what she’s doing. That really hurts my feelings and makes me feel like I don’t know what I’m doing. Ugh.