looking back I feel bad for myself. I really only had one friend, and a boyfriend who I basically had to pull teeth to do anything but watch tv. Being Single rocks! haha. I found my own friends, REAL, AMAZING, friends. they have been the biggest blessing in my life this year. Changed my life so much for the good. I go out every weekend now and a lot of times on weekdays too. whether its riding bikes or parting or surfing or grabbing tacos or doing pot lucks or dancing. We have so much fun! <3!
punkrocknerd13 has written 10 entries about this goal
i wasnt gonna go out, cuz i have no freaking money, but im finally legal and its st pattys day! so i had to go. went with a meetup group and i was almost an hour late. eep. but no one cared, it was cool. i never – never drink anymore. like 3 times a year haha. i had one large drink called a jump skip and get naked! sooo good. and i was drunk. lol. good to meet new people and i feel like i really made a few friends so im happy.
yey meetup groups! yey free things!!! Free West Coast Swing dance lesson tonight. i picked it up pretty quickly. i definitely had fun and met some nice people (i’m 4th from the left), but i have to say i enjoyed the salsa class a few weeks ago much better. Here’s to seeing whats next!
Last Friday did bowling for date night. Why is fiancee smiling so much, you ask???? cuz he KICKED MY ASS! i dont know what happened but i lost with basically all gutter balls. fail. i think he won cuz we made a wager and he really wanted to win. he did. by a lot. but had a really fun time!
Went to see my HUSBAND! Conan O’brien! last monday in LA at WB studios. we saw the taping in the studio, got to see Conan <3!, Andy Richter, Seth Green, some girl from Glee (dont watch it), and Travis Barker and the Transplants!!!!! <3 Transplants singer Tim Armstrong who is also lead singer in Rancid! and Travis Barker is amazing, saw him literally play drums 50 feet in the air, while the drum set swung back and forth across a stage when I saw Blink 182s reunion concert. so fun!
went to an unemployment church meeting on Monday. Didnt really stay after to meet people but i did like the speaker. i even got up in front of that huge crowd and asked him a question. without like having an anxiety attack! haha my heart wasnt racing, my hands ony shook a tiny bit and generally speaking i wasnt that nervous. huge step up for me.
Tuesday night the boy went out, i stayed home and did some self pampering.
Last night I went to open mic night at a place in irvine. found out about it through meetup. i got there and only recognized the group organizer. she was on the other side of the room and surrounded by people. so i just went and got some hot chocolate and sat at a table by myself. just enjoyed the music, poetry and comedy. when i saw she was free i introduced myself to her and she was nice and warm and gave me a hug. wanted to introduce me to “all the boys,” i told her oh no im engaged lol. but towards the end she did get on the mic and introduce me to everyone which was nice. i didnt really talk much to anyone else but i was fine with that. just enjoying myself. and realizing that this is how i should live my life. im much happier now, even in such a short period of time. and i never realized going out could by itself boost my confidence so much. now i dont feel afraid to talk to anyone. im really happy with what im getting out of all this and i feel proud of the unexpected progress im making.
today i went stand up paddling. so fun! and relaxing. i got lost on the way there, and was half an hour late, but they were so nice and chill they just got me on a board right away. i would definitely love to do this again. and the people were so nice too. after i had some extra time so i went to subway (which incidentally my future dance instructor sat right across from me!) and then walked around some clothing stores. then it was finally time for my dance class. it was salsa! and so fun. i wasnt very good at first but then i picked it up. the instructor was super nice and so were my partners. we actually got to stay for a 2nd free class with his real students abut i only got to do that about 20 mins and then ha to leave cuz jay was getting off work. but all in all a very good day. the best part is everything was free! just the cost of gas.
date night last night. was supposed to rain so we had to cancel the petting zoo AGAIN. : ( so i decided an art museum instead. well, it was basically closed for new exhibits so we only got to see one room. but there was a beautiful restaurant on the beach right beside so we ate there. best food of my life!!! and the margarita was just the cherry on top. spent some time looking at the beach after. great date.
went to the beauty bar last night with the Divas group. it was fun! my skin feels great and the ladies were really nice. I would definitely like to go out with them again. there really is nothing better than drinking champagne and getting free facials!
i love my fiancee and i love california. but the truth is i have been here over a year and a half and i have managed to make 1.5 friends. one who i seem to be fighting with a lot lately. and one who i only get in touch with once every few months. my fiancees friends are for him, i need my own. i have been really focused on this whole being a wife thing and have completely left my interests behind. once in a while we will do something i like or i will get control of the tv. but mostly i just dont put forth the effort to focus on me as a person. aside from my beauty resolution and reading. and part of it is this not having a job thing. its been 3 months and my entire life has been put on hold. well i cant do this anymore. i am so in love with jay, but a bit too dependent i suppose cuz i have no one else really. family 3,000 miles away isnt helping my social life here. got into a fight with jay cuz basically i hate sitting at home all day everyday. so i decided to do something about it. i am back to the meetup groups and trying to put myself out there. i have got to meet people and also inch towards getting over my fear of new people.
so last night i went to church alone (jay was at work) and i sat between two people i didnt know. and the thing was, it wasnt awkward at all. we were saying the same prayers, singing the same songs and feeling the same uplifting. we were strangers connected by one simple thing. and i need more of that. tonight i believe there is a girls night out in huntington beach with wine and free facials. i signed up to go. i wont know anyone there. and it might suck, but it sounds like so much fun. and if i want a better sense of self i have to get myself out there. im not completely socially awkward. i had a lot of friends in high school. i was sophomore class president and junior vice president for goodness sake. and voted most popular senior year. what happened since then!