To not argue about unimportant issues, yet be assertive in a relationship

Ok, maybe its still a boy/girl thing, coz sometimes he does things that I dont value as such, but, considered in context, mean a lot of effort.

Again… A friend left the country and I realised just how lonely I feel in this country. And right now I dont understand if my BF really does not understand how to help me (I feel I am telling him quite clearly) or else he just does not care.
I am also afraid we ll break up as soon as we have moved in together.

We argued the day we returned from NYC, we argued yesterday (a day after returning from a great weekend in Paris). I may not be a golden nugget, but why do we tend to argue right after holidays? In my case, it could be because after some time of closeness I am feeling the distance again or else do I want constant attention? The one to watch…

Had a great weekend, and actually talked a bit about how we see our future flat thats being built now. There are some differences (I like Scandinavian, light wood and natural materials style, he likes furniture made of metal and tiles), but hopefully we have enough time to come to some result.
Also, seems that my desparate announcement of about three weeks ago – that he seems to be extremely sensitive regarding how he is treated why somehow not seeing that he sometimes hurts me – is working.
Whats more interesting is – we got the bank letter – addressed to my BF, no less, and also saying the mortgage is going to be guaranteed by my intervention in the loancontract as jointly liable debtor. Erm…I think what that means is that its technically not my mortgage. Will phone the bank tommorow and hopefully clarify the issue, though as long as I am listed as the owner on the deed, it probably does not matter (its actually more of a trouble for my BF than me…)

It must be another male/female thing. While I think that by giving in on something I am showing how I care, he most likely does not even notice that or else maybe thinks it was not important.
As a result I start feeling as if I am making more effort than he is, then start nagging. As a result he does everything to blank me out.
If I could somehow bottle the emotions and feelings I had during our trip last weekend and use them the next time I feel as if he does not care for me…