overcome anxiety

anxiety ruins everything. such a pity there are no good drugs to just make it go away.

Started meditating for 10mins every 2 hours (this is day 2). Suddenly I’m much clearer-headed and more productive. Well worth continuing, I think! If it takes that much of my day to control GAD I’ll schedule it in permanently.

I just made a little MP3 with a few seconds of blips at the beginning, 10min of silence and then more blips at the end, and I use that as a timer. A fixed time is good because if you’re relaxed the time flies, but if you’re stressed it seems like it will never end – either way you get the right dose of medicine.

ah – that would explain it – thyroid levels way too high. Seems to be a positive feedback – I seem to need less thyroxine when I’m stressed, and having too much makes me anxious, hence more stressed. A big dose of stress has put me all out of balance, so the way out is to ease off thyroxine just a little, and then take a holiday. Unfortunately, this next holiday has the potential to be almost as stressful as the last one, and much more stressful than staying at work, so I might be out of balance for another couple of months.

now I’m just dragging this anxiety around like a dead dog on a leash. time to cut it free and bury it.