Make peace with my dad

I know that making peace with my dad is not a one-time event, but a daily decision to not instigate or nurture arguments. I am back in Canberra for the winter (albeit for a few more days, though) so I’ve been able to be with my family more. I think the best thing for our relationship was learning that he too has generalised anxiety disorder. I had no idea. I know that anxiety disorders run in families just as much as high blood pressure or diabetes, and it was the most indescribable moment to learn that my dad has the same anxieties as I do. No wonder he was the way he was when I was growing up. It puts everything into perspective. I feel like with that knowledge I can start to work on forgiving him and releasing the hurts that he has given me. I cried learning that he is human like me, and that the reason he reacts the way he does to many things is because of anxiety. It was amazing to learn that. I feel like that helped not only for our relationship, but also for my anxiety as well.

I’ve never been that close with my dad. He’s always been irritable, rash, domineering, and cold. He and I used to butt heads all the time when I was a child, and he would always blame his anger on the fact that “my sister and I could never do anything right… I wouldn’t be this way if you simply did what you were told.” Well, I’m in my 20s now, and I’ve decided it’s time to actively pursue a relationship with him. He is still the same way, but the thing is that I have changed. I’m not the little cheeky princess I used to be. I don’t even live in the same house, country, continent, hemisphere, etc. with him anymore, but I can’t let the poison overtake me. I have been healed in Christ, and I want him to truly experience the same—not because he says he does, but because he’s actually been changed.