be more assertive

I went to a fast food restaurant and stood in line to order my food. There was a man with special needs who had already ordered his food and repeatedly asked the cashier for change for a dollar. The cashier completely ignored him. When she came over to me to take my order, I told her that this gentleman had been trying to get her attention, but she stated that she already took his order. The man was polite but seemed to give up hope of getting any change. Finally, another customer and I asked her to help him and she stated “He always comes here for change. I can’t give any until I open my register.” But I had paid in cash just a minute ago. I got so aggravated that I even started to look in my purse if I had 4 quarters for this gentleman. Finally, I walked up to her and asked her for change directly and told her that she was being disrespectful to him. I got the change for the dollar and gave it to the man with special needs. He thanked me and took his food and left. I was very upset with the cashier but didn’t say anything more. Some people have no respect for others!

Asked a guy I like about his relationship status. I took a lot of risks in the conversation but I owed it to myself to find out. I feel very positive about the conversation and more importantly, my ability to assert myself in this situation.

This week I had a bad experience with an acquaintance. This former colleague of mine is notorious for being late and basically completely not showing for get-togethers. And she will call you on the day of the event when she is late and tell you that she will be there and if she does arrive, she tends to be at least 2-4 hours late.

She called me up this week and wanted to get together after two failed attempts on her part. I picked a meeting place about equidistant from both of our homes, after she stated that she doesn’t mind traveling to see me. I had no problem meeting her halfway. She then changed her mind and wanted me to drive one hour each way to a different location. I agreed because I have trouble asserting myself. I ended the call with her and finished my day at work, stewing the whole time. I figured that she would flake and not show and I really did not want to spend two hours driving around just to be stood up, which I was pretty sure was going to happen.

I emailed my former colleague when I got home and nicely but firmly stated that I didn’t want to drive so much and suggested the original meeting place. I texted her to make sure that she got the email. She then responded after midnight (we were getting together the next day) to cancel the plans without any explanation.

To be honest, I am glad that she cancelled versus being stood up. I was vexed for about half of the day but tried to put the whole thing out of mind, and just reminded myself that I have given this person many chances and she is perpetually late and undependable.

I am proud of myself for emailing her and changing the venue, even if I had trouble being firm while talking directly to her. I felt very good when I set that boundary with her.