I came on here about 2 years ago. When I joined I had a out of control internet gambling problem. I solved that I wrote to all my favorites sites asked them to ban me forever which they did and then our President said it was illegal to gambling online anymore which made it easier. I have not gambled online since and do NOT have any urges to do it. But, I needed to release if I didn’t gamble I would make myself physically sick. I would fly off the handle for no reason as well, so I went to lottery tickets(scratchoffs) after months of them I realized the odds were slim on me winning anything nice and swore them off and I have done that. Recently in the past 3-4 years they allowed casinos in PA. Everyone thought that was great except my family. I asked my husband to take me down there as a birthday present and well I was hooked. I spent thousands of dollars, it is only 30 minutes away from my house and 15 minutes from work. The thing I swear calls to me. Everytime I go down there I lose I keep telling myself I am not going to go down there every week I say it and as soon as payday comes I find myself there. I am trying to control it. I get off work payday and I deposit most of my check and take 50 dollars sometimes 60 no more and go down. My husband already took my mac card away and we have no credit cards so once the money is gone that’s it. Sometimes it really sucks I go down there and 15 minutes later I walking out the door kicking myself in the ass, once in awhile I can play on it for an hour or two. I know I shouldn’t be gambling at all. But, like I said I just can’t quit my body will not allow this to happen. You can tell me it is all in my head that I am not really sick. In my head or not it feels pretty dam real to me. My husband and me have this arrangement. As long as I do not take anymore then that and do not come home and beg to go back down he will stick to this agreement and since this is the only gambling I have I do it and be happy. go down once a week and not mention nothing about it the rest of the week until my day comes back around. Right now, it is working I have been doing it a month and we have more money in the bank not much more but some. Seeing us gaining some money little by little and me feeding my habit breifly to keep my demons down helps. I am not going to lie those days when I am in and out in 15 minutes I want more I want a chance to chase my small loss but then I think about all the times I did chase it and never could catch up. I say to myself losing 50 bucks I can handle that I can deal with that minor loss it is alot better then 300 bucks which is usually what I end up losing chasing my losses. I went fishing with my family the other day I find out I really enjoy it. Today I went and got my fishing license and tomorrow instead of going down to that place I am going to go fishing with my husband’s uncle. Everyone tells you, you got a gambling problem and since you never win you really need to pick up a new hobby hopefully this one sticks. Good luck to all my troubled gambling friends. We can do this right now 50 -60 bucks it is like a patch for quitting smoking eventually and hopefully I will be able to stop using it and be normal like everyone else.
quitter has written 4 entries about this goal
It has been almost 2 months and it has been the easiest 2 months, I have said I was quitting in the past but I never did. But, this last time was different I went into one of my online casino and looked at how much money I had put into it and how much I actually withdrew and it was definitely a huge eye opener. I thought about all the things I could of done with all that money and I basically broke down and cried. I think most of us do it and have no idea how much total we lose but when you see a grand total in a years time it is definetly a cage rattler. I wrote down reasons why I should quit when I first started this and even a letter to myself to read if I ever got the urge luckily I never even had to resort to the letter since I saw my grand total spent and my reasons for quitting were and still are precious to me. Since, then I have no urge. I have money in the bank, money in my pocket and my husband and I just bought a nice tv and are taking a family trip to Florida the first week in July. I am so thankful that I finally beat the horrible gamble addiction. I am the happiest I ever been my marriage couldn’t be any better and the kids are even happier to have mom back. I hope they each and everyone of you facing this thing can beat it. In just weeks you will see such an improvement health wise, money wise, people around you. god bless you all and thank you so much for being my crutch.
I have not even thought about gambling so many times I tried but always fell off the wagon in a matter of days but so much is different this time around. My husband found out about what I did I thought for sure that he was going to explode and leave me. I was shocked and happy that he is staying by my side but now is monitor all money. I don’t care that he is going to monitor the money I have nothing to hide no more. Gambling is just a nightmare now. I wrote down reasons why not to do it the last time I fell off and then I wrote a letter to myself if I got the urge to do it. I still keep it close as a reminder even though I never need it.
Last week I told my husband I paid bills which was a lie I didn’t I blew all the money in an online casino. I took the casino’s out of my computer. So not tempted I emailed the casino I went to and made them ban me. If he finds out he is going to leave me. Right now, I am trying to get the casino to at least refund me half of it, not going so good. Don’t know where I am going to get this money to pay the bills without him knowing, but one thing I know for sure it won’t be threw gambling! Tried that to many times and every time I get myself deeper into a hole. No more this time I am going to do it quit for the last time no falling off the wagon!
quitter has gotten 2 cheers on this goal.
- jgoal cheered this 7 years ago