raise my self-esteem

My self-esteem, its low now..its been low for a while now. I have had a hard time accepting myself. I don’t like my physical self and well its not like I need to be perfect, I just need to learn what its like to accept me the way I am. There are things I don’t like about my personality. I like to laugh and make people laugh. I like to listen and help people out. When it comes to helping myself..that’s just not possible. I weigh myself down so much it hurts me and I break down and cry. I used to become so desperate in changing my ways and accepting myself that I would scratch myself up. I’d claw my arms and see how much I could take. I thought to myself that if I didn’t help myself my parents or any one else ever would. I stopped scratching and clawing myself but, my thoughts remained the same about myself. They are still present. I need help.