write more poetry

A Golden Pothos plant
They grow green vines
And like to climb

From the time it was young it always did well
It stretched and thrived in the summer sun
Everyday it grew some more
It was thirsty and thanked me for the water I’d pour

But when wintertime came, the sun went away
The mornings came later and the plant became sad
It got weak and sick and lost more leaves every day

It turned yellow and brown. ALL its leaves on the ground
I was distraught as the plant fought
It was dying quickly… And then I thought
“what can I do to help you renew?”

The plant needed change, so now it has a new home
I brought it to work and it sits under the lights
though its recovery so far has been only slight
I watch hopefully as the plant continues its fight

It brushed itself off, and now can rise from its low
As buds show promise for a brighter tomorrow

A sprout in the ground at dawn
A candy bar with the wrapper still on
Cookies before they’re all gone
A full glass of lemonaed in a hammock on the lawn

Stars that fade into day
ice cubes still water in the tray
the newborn whose not yet opened his eyes
everything to come will be a surprise

A ten foot tall house of cards is my work of art
I hope against hope that it won’t fall apart

A dingy apartment at Broad and Ontario
Kelley Clarkson blasting on the stereo
Stairs creek and wine as we ascend
Our last bit of fun before finals end

A queen-sized bed in a dark-dim room
in the glow from his laptop I see the bed’s not made
the stink of marijuana wafts through the air
And nobody cares!

Bottles of booze in the window sills,
Stains on the carpet from where it spilled
The party just started, but oh how time flies
We drank and had sex until we saw the sun rise

Come home, no mail in my name
So sick and tired of the same old game
No letters with anything good today
Only envelopes with bills, and threats to pay

No messages for me on my cell
No texts asking if I am well
Nothing good will come anytime soon,
as far as I can tell

Not interested in living now
Just interested in dying now
And I can’t even smile now
Because I have forgotten how

All the things that bother me
I put them in my poetry
I want to cut myself so I can bleed
it could give me the release I need
I’ll cut myself across the wrists
so I can remember I exist

I feel totally invisible
with a depression that’s invincable
and a voice that screams into deaf ears
they can’t hear my dreams, my hopes or fears
Always staring down death’s door
and wondering what I’m waiting for.

I stand out in the pouring rain,
in this weather I never chose
Will this be a mild storm
or will it be a hurricane?
It might just rain, or turn to snow
We can’t choose where the clouds will go

Like walking across a frozen pond
on a path I never chose
I must tread carefully to the bank beyond
as ice cracks beneath my feet,
will I fall through?

I’m tiptoeing across a mine field…
In this battle I must fight
In this war I never chose
one wrong step will make the depression explode
back into full force.
Do I wish it were over? Yes. Of course.

Where will this nightmare take me next?
Up a mountain high, through a valley low
There might be rain and sleet for days and days
I’ll be lost in a tortourous, hellish maze
Where will this thing take me?
I don’t know where it goes.
But I take one more step forward,
at least that I chose.

I’m a sick child
I’m in the hospital…
My mommy isn’t sure what’s wrong.
The doctors aren’t sure what’s wrong.
It’s been a long day.
The sun goes down.
I try to go to sleep.

But I wake in the middle of the night,
I peek out of my room. It’s dark. No one’s around.
I walk down the hall
to to get a drink of water
in my underwear and paper gown

bare feet on cold linoleum
I’m at the water fountain
I have to stand on my tippy-toes to get a sip
The water is kind of warm at first . . .
but then there is this deep humming noise
it comes from inside the water fountain
I’m not sure what it means
But suddenly the water gets colder as I drink

I’m not fully awake.
I’m not worried about the problems of life or the day…
I’m focussed only on getting that drink of water
and getting back to bed.

At this moment…

I feel crummy. The job I just left was deceiving.
It was not what I thought, it was just so misleading
I feel ashamed of myself in just talking about it
Will something change soon? I can’t help but doubt it.
I’m feeling regretful for earning my college degree
and those years of hard work, will they ever serve me?
and I’m living at home with my parents again
I am thankful, but wishing I did not need them

To college students all over, with such promise within them
who leave with optimistic ideals, and later rescind them!
I now see why you ask what that hard work was worth!
as I impatiently seek out my place on this earth
Pretentious grad,
it took more than a day to reach your graduation
Yet you suddenly expect instant gratification
Humble yourself and keep searching around
until what you need is finally found

it never rains

WHEN YOU FORGET YOUR UMBRELLA

it rains

AND WHEN IT RAINS

it pours

The classic nursery rhyme “The Old Woman who Lived in a Shoe” with my own spin.

She had so many children, she didn’t know what to do;

She gave them some broth without any bread;

Then whipped them all soundly and put them to bed

One of the kids told a social worker
Who came to take the old woman’s children from her
The old woman fled, but it was no use
In the end she was prosecuted for child abuse

wasting my time trapped
in my tortured mind
caught in the same routine day after day
staying up late
drowning in hate
So I pack up my things and I just run away