graduate from college

I just moved into my new dorm and I’m starting to get settled-in for the summer courses. Hopefully taking these classes will give me a chance to graduate early when senior year rolls around. Truth be told, though, I think all the moving in and out is one of the hardest parts of college. Last night it was pouring as my parents and I moved my luggage out of the van and into the building. I’ve come down with a very annoying cold from the unruly weather.

Nevertheless, I’m in my new room now and I like it a lot so far and the student next door helped me move the furniture around to my liking. My room mate hasn’t moved in any of his things yet. I just met him, but he seems like an okay guy. I decided not to hassle with bringing a television, but I think I’ve brought enough to keep me content during the few months ahead.

Sometimes room mates can make things so stressful, and privacy in collage is hard to come by, but I’m ready to make the best of things. I admit though, I’m still a little uneasy about this huge change.

I’m not too comfortable with the people on my floor. Because it’s summer, about half of the students residing here are here for football training, and oh my word are those guys huge. Most are nearly three times my size. They’re tough, their speech and dress is very urban, and they haven’t been too friendly either. I’m intimidated by most of them and just plain afraid of some of them. . . I’m articulate, preppy, soft-spoken- not at all the “tough guy” type. They all know each other it seems, so I feel like that adds to the intimidation. I try to stay out of their way.

The LAST three weeks are always so tough, but I’M not gonna let it freak me out. I’ve been juggling everything and managing it exceptionally well, even though I’m pretty burned out and feel like I need to take a day off. I’m almost done, though, and I can hardly believe that my first year of college is almost over. It’s ending much more smoothly than it started, that’s for sure, and thanks to my choice to take summer courses, starting in may I officially begin my sophomore year! That really gets me tickled. My hope is to get undergrad over with as soon as physically possible so I can get to law school faster and get this dream going.

I have never been so happy in a school before. I feel like college has given me enough space for me to just manage myself, instead of always having adults manage me. I’m the captain of my own ship here, and I’m guiding myself to my own self-determined destination. I never had so much room to just breathe. And even though I’m “rushing” through this, I’m definitely still taking time to smell the roses- that’s for sure. I joined the university symphony band and play the flute. I love it so much. Hearing the music, and participating in the process of creating such beautiful music, makes me feel so alive. I’m nearly moved to tears when I hear the other instruments leading into the climax of an amazing piece of music. My mind goes back to middle school when I was just starting to seriously get attached to the band program. I remember all the performances we did and the feeling of applause never gets old. I remember performing in special district music festivals where we’d play against other schools, get a trophy, and then go to Dorney Park to just have fun. I cherish those memories, but all in all, college band is a very amazing part of my life right now- honestly, having the courage to try out was one of the best decisions I ever made.

I suppose it’s decisions like that one, that bring me so much joy, that help to make up for the mistakes I’ve made.

I’m tired. I know I’ll get my energy back by Monday, but it’s Friday night now and I am so worn out. This week I wrote 2 entire papers, each 5-7 pages, and mentally I’m trying to keep in mind that my group geography project is coming up, along with a few other end-of-semester projects.
I’m tired- I’ll need to really relax this weekend. Ugh. I have one more paper to complete and then that’s it for the semester.
The infamous end-of-semester “crunch” has officially begun!!

I’m taking summer classes only a week after the end of this semester, so my “break” will only be a minute. But I think it is worth it, because I hear summer classes are an easy, convenient way to get courses completed and work toward an early graduation!

1. Loud
2. Obnoxious
3. Clingy
4. Insecure
5. Fake
6. Inconsiderate
7. Hypocritical

He watches Scrubs on DVD and his obnoxious laughing can be heard through the walls. He slams his door, and when I asked him to stop slamming his door every time he leaves his room, he got all defensive. He tries to impress all the other guys in the hall and thinks he’s “friends” with them, but really they’re not friends at all. He’s full of himself and thinks he’s the shit… he doesn’t care about anyone else in the hallway or in the world probably. He’s a horrible person.

On the bright side, though, (if you can call it that) he’s very tall and thin and sexy. . . it only makes me more unsettled. I wish I could have a body like that, but why does he have to be such a fucking imbecile?

Sometimes I feel like I’m surrounded by complete idiots… and I find myself looking for someone at all intellectual or interesting to connect with, but no avail.

For a while I’ve been wanting to write this in here. I’ve become a machine when it comes to writing papers, to the point where now it’s a process that’s becoming automatic. Lot’s of people really struggle with research projects- they can be the worst part of school if they’re approached the wrong way. I just wanted to give my personal tips.

Step 1: Make sure you thoroughly understand the assignment. Teachers always hand out a sheet of paper reading what it is they want you to do for the project. Take a highlighter and go through it, highlighting exactly what it is you’re asked to write about.

Step 2: Choose a specific topic fast. For me, this is often the hardest step of all. Most of the time, with papers and projects, teachers give you some room to choose certain things. If you need to write a paper about urban pollution,for example, which city will you choose to describe for the analysis? If you need to write about a historic European king or queen, which will you choose? If you need to choose from a list of countries to write about, which will it be? Find out where in your project you have room to make choices, and choose what is most interesting to you. That is very important. Don’t get stuck working on something you think is a snore… at least pick something you’re a little bit interested in. The point is, you won’t even be able to start working on your project until you choose a topic! Once you pick it, there’s no turning back- so choose wisely!

Step 3: Start Researching. Boring, right? Wrong! The key is to research the right way.
Let’s say the teacher says you must have a book as a source for your project. That means you need to go to a library. I HATE libraries… but the trick is to be in and OUT o’ there as fast as possible!
How? If your library has an online catalog, look for your book there first, at home on your computer. Remember to check the status to see if it’s even in stock. Write down the book’s reference number and then go to the library, find it, and then check out. If you don’t know how call numbers work, find the librarian and they’ll help you. Once you get your book, LEAVE, and do your research at home. Tops, you’ve spent 10 minutes in the library. Good tip, huh?

How do you research once you’ve found the book?
I used to dread research papers because I thought it meant you had to read the entire book to do the research. Boy, was I wrong. Funny enough, a lot of people probably think that’s the truth, but the only time you should try to read the whole book is if your paper is specifically to summarize one. Otherwise, especially if your paper is a research paper, you don’t actually have to do much reading at all.

All you have to do is look at the book’s table of contents. It’s quite a useful tool. Find where the information you need lies within the book. Is your project on German foods? Well, if your book is called, say, “Germany- a Culture Study”, look in the contents for a chapter related to food or eating, and after a bit of skimming, there ya go. You hit the jackpot.

If the book you checked out does not have what you need, repeat step 3 a.s.a.p.

Once you find a section of the book that’s useful, take some quotes from the book. Even a few short ones will spice up any research paper.
...Germany is a country full of amazing cuisine. According to Germany- a Culture Study, restaurants there are some of “the best in the world” (page 42).
Always make sure to cite your sources correctly… If you don’t know how, ask your teacher for help. Also, don’t load your paper with too many quotes. Most likely your teacher won’t accept it if there’s more quotes than your own writing. The paper, primarily, should just be your own narration and some summarizing, with a few quotes thrown here and there. Make sure the quotes actually help to show your point in the paper. That’s a recepie for a good paper.

Step 4: Finishing up.
That was fast, huh? See, writing paper’s isn’t so bad. The last step is to read through your paper. Does it flow? Is it organized well? Most of all, DID YOU ACTUALLY DO WHAT WAS ASKED IN THE ASSIGNMENT? You’d be surprised how many people turn in papers and didn’t actually do what was asked of them… say, if they were supposed to compare and contrast two U.S. Presidents, but instead they wrote about who they think is the greatest U.S. president. Or the life and death of a President. They completely missed the directions of the assignment.

Step 5: Make the paper look official by adding a cover page with the title and remember the works cited page on the back.

Step 6: This should ALWAYS be the very last step. Spelling. Proofread too, because spell check on the computer sometimes misses some grammatical errors.

Then you’re done!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is literally how I write all of my papers, with all of these steps in my head. It’s a very good way to do it fast and without stress, and without too much time spent in the library! Try it- it really works well. I hope that it helps some poor soul out there who is having trouble researching and writing a paper right now. Stick to these tips and you’ll have an A in no time.

I’ve been managing my time really well and I am keeping up with all my assignments. I’m also starting to understand all the courses I will need to take in order to meet my graduation requirements in three years. I’m only a freshman, but I think about graduating every day- it’s the only reason I’m here after all: to get my B.A.

Now that the celebrations of high school graduation are behind me, the reality is I’m back at the bottom of the ladder once again. I just got assigned a five page research paper due in two weeks and I find myself thinking, how am I going to be able to get through the next four years of this? It’s hard to stay positive and even harder to keep motivated.

At first I loved it, but now I can’t believe how depressed college has made me feel. I’m here, away from home, with a small amount of money, and TONS of work to do. The people in the dorms are all overworked and crabby and it seems like no one has time to do anything. It’s miserable sometimes.

When I go home, my family asks if college is “everything I thought it would be”, and I tell them no. It’s a lot of work, and it’s anything but a big party. Most of the time I’m alone studying, and, unbelievably, there’s nothing to do than homework on weekends. I don’t know what it is. I don’t have really any friends I’m close to and I’m depressed nearly all the time. Hopefully things will look up soon, but right now, all I really want to do is make the next four years worth the work and graduate and move on with my life.

that college is a lot different from high school. The schedule is less formal and I spend lots of time with my classmates outside of class. For me, I think the hardest thing is being surrounded by all of these kids my own age when there’s so much work to do. All through high school I was isolated, so it’s hard to stay focused when I know how much I want to just party and have fun. It takes a lot of discipline to be able to do well.

I’ve met a lot of acquaintances, but I wouldn’t say I’ve gotten really close with anyone. In other words, if college ended tomorrow, I couldn’t see anyone I know here keeping in touch. Maybe that will change as I get to know people more.

My classes are not that hard. Everything seems manageable. The hard part is finding ways to keep myself motivated and not depressed.

I’ve realized one of the things that makes me depressed is when I think about how much I want a boyfriend. I lose motivation when I think, “what’s the point in busting my butt for four years to get a degree if I’ll never find love?” A degree I can get, but love I think is something you just have to wait for. It’s hard to have such intense feelings for some of the guys around me when I know I could never tell them. It’s been hard for me to cope with being gay. It’s hard coping with those feelings and it’s hard to find anyone to really understand. There are times when I feel hopeless, no doubt about that, and I just want to give up. If I could become straight and like girls, trust me I would. I’d love to be like everyone else, but I can’t do that. I am not attracted to girls. I am attracted to boys, and I hope I can share a boy’s love one day. Sorry if that pisses off so much of society.

The last 72 hours or so have been by far some of the best hours of my entire life. And I mean that sincerely. I’m meeting awesome people left and right, and I love my dorm. I filled it with the stuff I need to feel at home, from the Harry Potter Poster on the wall to my miniature coffee maker. My room mate is also amazing- we get along practically flawlessly.

I have one class in the morning and one at night, so the middle of the day is filled with socializing, studying, and eating of course. I love it here so much, and looking back on how tremendously aweful my senior year in high school was, with being arrested and all, I could not be more thankful and grateful for the opportunity to experience this. I swear to God I’m thankful at all hours of my day. . . and I promised myself, no matter how hard things get, I will keep strong and focused and I will not make the same mistakes I did before.

I’m just so thankful; words could never describe.