be 13 stone by Christmas

1. How quickly the body adapts to eating less crap. I’m actually craving lettuce and tomatoes for lunch.
2. How FUCKING long cooking takes. I seem to have spent most of my free time in the last few days either cooking, eating or cleaning up from cooking. This isn’t sustainable. I either need to put in place a highly efficient freezing & defrosting plan, or find a way to rely on frozen and ready meals without piling on the sugar.

asking for help does NOT mean I want you to say the following things to me:

1. “Why don’t you just exercise?” (I do)
2. “Ooh, you can’t eat those boiled potatoes! They’re carbs!” (Atkins died)
3. “If you want to lose weight you should start eating meat.” (No)
4. “I think you look fine” (Thanks. But seriously, I’m obese. This is about not dying.)

GREAT things to say would include:

1. “You look like you’ve lost weight” (if I have)
2. “Do you want to come running/walking/to the gym with me?” (exercise is horrible alone)
3. “Do you want an apple?”

I’ve been going to Weight Watchers for a year and a half and I weigh more than when I started. This is plainly ridiculous.

So: help me, people. I have a new, clear goal: to lose an average of one pound a week this year. This will take me to 15 stones by my birthday in June, and 13 stone by Christmas, just a stone from my final goal. This will make me happier, sexier, and less likely to die an early death.

You’d think that would be enough motivation.

I really need help with this, so pester me to keep you updated on my progress. And don’t offer me cake.

The picture isn’t me, by the way.