talk less, listen more

Talk less, listen more… Gosh, I really need to do this with my daughter, Sarah. I get so frustrated at times that I don’t want to hear what she is saying to me. She too, is frustrated. Sarah is 24, the mother of Little C., my precious grandson. We see things so differently, never on the same page on anything. When she was young, we were a “team” and so close. Now it’s like were fighting each other all the time, not being respectful of one another.

I miss those days, when I was her “mommy” and she would come to me with her hurts, joys and dreams. Somewhere along the road, we drifted apart, traveling different directions in life. The mother ~ daughter relationship we have is non-existent, I want it back.

I want to be her mommy ~ mother again. She needs this from me. I need to be patient and listen to her.

I’m really getting the hang of this “listening” gaol. Last night my husband and I shared a wonderful, insightful conversation. This most likely is one of the first times he shared so much with me during a “wine chat”.

I listened without interrupting, I remained quiet while he was in deep thought and I continued to listen through two glasses of wine. It was great, I realized I was hearing every word he was speaking without trying to bud in or think about what I wanted to say at that moment.

He talked, I listened… It was wonderful.

I really need to work on this goal with my daughter. S. and I seem to interrupt each other during important conversations. Our relationship is really stressed right now.

She needs to be heard. She needs to feel that she is being heard. I owe it to her too be heard…and respected, even it I don’t agree.

S. really is in need of me to listen to her.

My dad called me at 6:30 a.m. yesterday morning…saying he called early because he can’t seem to get me during the daytime. Busy girl I am! Mostly likely I’m on 43things and didn’t want to answer the phone. Hee hee.

We had a wonderful conversation about a situation I find myself and family in. He really spoke from his heart and was concerned about all of us. He shared a couple stories with me about his parenting style when I was young. I’m glad that I listened to him without interrupting, I would of missed the stories he shared. He gave me his wise advice and/or respective. Thanks Dad.

I’m listening more to the kids, making eye contact and stopping what I am doing while they’re talking to me, all the while, I’m not interrupting and commenting.

The goal is working, the kids are noticing and appreciating it. They are starting to feel that I really do care and hear them!

Great Goal for me!

I seem to talk and not listen, my kids will tell me. I find myself talking over people when I’m on my cell phone. Then…I seem to want to give too much advice when I think my friends just want to talk!

So…I need to stop talking so much and Listen, I might just learn something that I would have missed if I were talking.