Follow the "Four Day Win" plan, noting my thoughts and experiences as I go.

Maybe I will try this again some time, but for now I have to say that I’m just miserable and want to give a different life change plan a go. Sorry, gals. See you soon.

want to continue
guilt is counter productive
I’m holding myself back.

I will be taking a break from this goal.
There is a lot going on in my life at the moment that deserves attention and careful planning, so I am very preoccupied. At the same time, I beat myself over the head when I see this goal on my list and realise I haven’t worked on anything for the last two weeks. Instead of making me feel bad, this should make me feel better, so until further notice, for a bout a month, I have decided to not push myself more. I just don’t need another guilt trip in my life. Once the job situation is sorted out (this mgiht be happening very quickly) and/or I’ve come back from my sister’s wedding, I will pick this up again.
I will still read and maybe comment on my teammates’ entries, but even though I realise that I will be falling behind and not be at the same stage as most of you here when I come back, I am confident that I can do this. Soon.

...the 4DW “be sick and eat hardly anything”.
On saturday, I fell ill with a very mean virus of some sort, spending most of the day on the loo (sorry for the info overkill) and, due to pain in my lower abdomnen and constant queeziness, eating only two bowls of dry Kelloggs Special K. I also had a fever of 38.8 degrees which was the highest I’ve had since being a child.
Yesterday, my fever went down a bit, still fluctuating around 38 degrees and I ate about 70 grams of pretzel sticks, plus drinking half a bottle of Royal Club Bitter Lemon to lower my temperature (the bitter tasting chinin will do that for you, I am told).
Today, day 3, my belly still hurts badly, I still get dizzy when standing up and headaches, but thankfully, my temperature is back to normal.
Even though I have eaten only a fraction of what I normally eat during the last 65 hours, I still have not had a single hunger pang. I just feel ill and queezy, all the time.

...to write stuff, but I didn’t get too far.
I had bought some exercise books to initiate writing. On the first pages, I have made a list of all the 4DWs in the book including their page, and numbered them, so I can write to myself how I am doing per 4DW. Not everything that goes in the book will be here, and vice versa.

I have been doing a few small 4DWs which I have incorporated into my daily life, for example not throwing clothes on the floor. I’ve had this as a 43-goal for so long, but to do it for “just” four days really broke the spell, it seems.
Another successfull one is brushing my teeth before bed-time, a habit I could not bring myself to establish in over 30 years.
For some reason, my parents never made me brush in the evenings, only mornings, and I never liked it, but this is changing now, much to my bf’s delight. I hope my dentist will be able to tell the difference when I visit this autumn.

At the moment, I think having 10 minutes without the telly on as a reward! When my bf is around, we have it on almost constantly, and I get distracted so easily. The TV is my shiny object, and as we are children raised in the late 70’s and 80’s, it’s a ginormous one, dominating the middle of our living room. In our open plan apartment this means: If the TV is on, it’s on for everybody, everywhere.
I have famine brain behaviour regarding TV, anyway: I have been a TV addict ever since I was old enough to memorise and sing along TV commercial jingles.
I can’t imagine permanently living without a TV.
So, forcing myself to switch it off and leave it off might not only a 4DW in itself, but also a reward, as I can do my non-dom hand writing and body whispering.

Need to know: If somebody from my team goes on holiday, she brings a sweet treat for the team to share, a special chocolate (from the UK, I brought “Segsations” orange chocolate, for example). So on my colleague’s desk is a bag of lovely “Montpellier Nougat”.
Two days ago at work, we were exchanging stories about clothing stores who will never get our custom again because of bad service and staff attitude. So I told my colleagues my story of my first and last visit to the Amsterdam Miss 60 store, years and years ago:
I go inside, pick some pants I like and ask the staff if they have them in my size. She looks me up and down (twice, slowly!) and then tells me “We have nothing in your size.”
I felt like Julia Roberts in “Pretty Woman”, in that first posh store, trying to buy “decent” clothing. Mortified.
Well anyway, this was years ago, so I should be over that. But what happened? Like a reflex, the second I finished telling the story, I felt embarrassed and put my hand straight into the bag with French Nougat on my colleague’s desk. My dictator was going “what the f? You know better!!!” but my “Wild Child” had already rolled up in a ball, kicking and screamingly defending the piece of consolation she had found.

“Your exercise and health regimen will be more effective this month by working with a trainer, partner or group”
- My Elle horoscope for August 2007

This is more fun than I thought initially!
I have done a 15 minute writing session with both hands and I am enjoying it immensely. My left hand is writing stuff I didn’t expect at all! It feels like a different person is writing with my left hand than the one who writes the questions with my right. Is that what little girls do with their ouija-boards?

I have also recorded the body whispering sentences on my phone, which takes 2 1/2 minute recordings. I listened to it 5 times on the way to work today on my bike, and even though I couldn’t do the “correct” breathing technique, it felt so relaxing. I felt quite reassured when I got to work.

Incidentally, I have the toughest time following the thought “My body has suffered a lot.” Where has my body suffered “a lot”? It’s been sitting on the couch “a lot”! But yeah, I know I can get into this groove.

My scores on the pre-contemplation test are also going “up” by the day. It’s not only that I “know” I have to choose a-answers, but I also seem to start believing the answers.

I have been thinking about rewards, and reading some of you guys’ entries about them, and I have to say that some of them sound really nice. Thing is, I am having already numerous cups of tea a day (majority served by my sweet man), so that one is out, and I am a pretty lazy person, so if I start making even more red-B time, I won’t be doing much else anymore.
So I have bought a few treats: two hair masks, a face mask and a permanent hair dye I want to try: L’Oreal Casting creme gloss in Blond Ambre (copper blond?!?). Because I’m worth it… I think they are all 4-day rewards than daily for a small win. So I am still on the look-out for the simple, small things I ususally deny myself. The issue is hat I am too lazy to even pamper myself, as that would involve getting off me arse and making myself a footbath. Now, I really, really miss having a bathtub.

...a short article about the French Paradox can be found here.
It supports me in my endeavours to only eat 3/4 of each serving on my first 4 day win.

...these sun salutations.

Let’s see if they are “ridiculously easy”...
I is rather sceptic.