Be uncompromisingly true to myself

Whatever you do, work hard at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men. Collossians 3:23

At my job, people tell me all the time that I work too hard. Sometimes I even use to get dirty looks from people when they see me working, while they slack. It use to bother me, but now it doesn’t. I had to be real with myself and not think about what other people thought, or even now, what they think about me. They use to think that I was doing it for the bosses or whatever. But people who know me know understand that this is the way that I am. This is the way that I work. I give my all. 110%. From beginning to end. That’s what I get paid to do. No one will ever be able to say that I’m lazy, or that I am not a good worker. I work for me, first. Because if I’m not satisfied, how can I please someone else. And that goes for all things in life.

I have three notebooks that I have had since 2003, and I have jotted down, from time to time, little notes, quotes, and names of people and things that have made an impact om me at that time in my life…..those were some of the best days of my life...it was really when I began to understand that I was seeing the person I was becoming.

This quote here made me look at myself in a totally different way…..

“Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try to know someone else and expect them to know you.” unknown

“It’s never too late to become what you could have been.”
-Unknown

unique: 1. existing as the only one or as the sole example; single; solitary in type or charcteristics. 2.(AND I LOVE THIS ONE THE MOST!) having no like or equal; unparalleled; incomparable.

Most of the time, this is how I feel. Like, there is no one else out there is this small world that is like me. But there are times that I feel as if I am not apart of what we call normal. This is going to be a bit hard to understand, so I just hope that you, who are reading this, will just bear with me. I just feeling like who I want to be, and the person I put out for people to see, totally contradicts each other. And, my brother, who I am close with, somehwhat, and my cousin, who is like my brother, I feel so far away from them now. In the past year, I feel as if I have, I dunno, maybe grown, or changed so much, or so fast, that I feel that I have lost touch with myself. I can tell you this, I know myself more than ever now though, but it’s just so much I’m trying to process at once. It’s like everything has been brought to light, and I’m trying to figure out a way to change. But overnight, and maybe that’s the problem. When one wants to change, esp. for the better, his/her enviorment tends to stand in the way sometimes. Peers, stereotypes, and other such things may change your way of thinking, to where you lose focus, and just give up. I don’t know how other people have come up with their goals here, but all of my goals here on 43Things, add up to me becoming a ‘better’ person. A person I WANT to be comfortable with. So I can be proud of myself, and, be happy. If you have read any of my entries, I used that word alot, even in comments I have given to other people (wink). That’s because that’s where I want to be in my life. And trust me, I’m working on it, but it’s gonna take some time. I know this now. Believing is the key. I don’t want to regret. I don’t want to feel bad about decisions that I have made. I don’t want to worry about, well, let me re-phrase this, I don’t want to worry to much about what others think. HA. How’s that? I want to inspire others to be strong and tackle all of lifes challenges that comes their way. Because, I have been through alot. Most people could not imagine. But I’m still smiling, I’m still breathing, and I’m still living….life. To the best of my ability. No one will ever take away my pride. I am strong. I can love. While, still being bitter (you hit it on the nail Fereshteh). I’ve been hurt. Still, I care. But, I’m stubborn. Selfish at times. I am also naive. Are these my strengths, or weaknesses? I don’t know. I can only continue to try to find myself and answer all of my lifes’ questions that I need answers to. Maybe I’ll find them tommorow, or maybe it will take the rest of my life to figure it out. But, I have learned that patience is a virtue. All the while, I will continue to ask myself; “who am i?”

...to be continued…

“I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.”
- Bill Cosby

I just found this quote and I thought it was good. It’s so true, cause alot of people do things to impress other people, or they fall into the so-called standards that this society has formed, to feel accepted, or claim the “I made it” status. How come people aren’t just satisfied with just having a car, a roof over their head, and clothes on their backs? It has to be the best of the best, and the latest. By any means, I am not bashing anyone, I’m just saying….

1. Always be true to myself.
2. Unclutter my life.
3. Live life, breathe it, and enjoy.
4. Open my eyes to new things.
5. Save the money that I work hard for.
6. Buy myself things I NEED!!!!
7. Keep the music playing.
8. If plan A fails, always have B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y,and Z to fall back on.
9. Do the right thing.
10. Realize that change is inevitable. The only problem is not knowing when. But don’t ask questions, just accept it, and move on. (and those are my own words, ya’ll)