fall in love without fear

k so im no where near this but was getting closer to ‘being with someone without fear’ and being able to tell them that i liked them (ok so i had to get very drunk first but baby steps) then it all went wrong as turned out he seeing someone else at home, im not sure how i manage to bring this out in people but im starting to lose faith that i can ever be with someone without them hurting me.

this has to be one of my long term goals as although it is something i been trying to do for a long time ive never succeded in falling in love as the fear stops me, i have begun to realise that for anyhope of this to happen i need to become happy with myself first and love myself (not in a big headed way just not to hate myself) therefore i hope that if i leave this dream alone for a while and work on becoming happier with myself it may just happen on its own.