get my life back

I’ve been in a transitional phase for 2 years now.

I didn’t know we were going to fall into this recession and employment difficulties that would freeze any forward motion.

So I’ve been living in suspended animation.

I try to move forward on things I can do online or all by myself, but anything to do with home or community or job or movement has been stalled. Forever.

And I end up not doing projects or finalizing things because I keep thinking something will happen in the next few weeks and we can start over in a new place. BUT NOTHING EVER HAPPENS and I am just stuck in stasis.

We get a little bit of a positive hope and think this is it, we can move forward, and then it falls apart.

I’m really tired of it, and perhaps that is why I haven’t been on 43things so much. It’s kind of hard to be reminded of all your goals when you keep getting stalled from the outside.

But then, I know I should live as if this was my life, NOW, rather than living as if my life was about to start when the job or moving situation resolves itself.

I know I should, but I can’t quite manage it.

I think it’s my self.

Don’t quite have a life. Too isolated. Too poor. But I am doing better than before. Still some distance to go on this, but some has been covered.

my only friends are related to me or on line, but I’ve been working on getting my life back any way.

I’ve been working on the art and the focus and the happiness and building a career.

I don’t know when I will consider this goal done, but it’s getting better.

1. Have a regular writing practice
2. Get a job and make some money
3. Start painting again
4. Get a car
5. Get a drivers permit
6. Learn to drive
7. Get a drivers license
8. Go out on dates w S
9. Learn to take breaks and get away from being a 24hour mom and nothing else.
10. Ask for what I need.
11. Make some new friends
12. Go out without kids and/or S in tow.