Take care of my body.

I’m not sure what will come out of this process, but I should think about it before the first call tomorrow. I know I want to:

eat right, which involves (cook, prepare meals, eat less sugar)
lose some weight, which involves (exercise, eat better)
relax, which involves (exercise, meditate, eat better)
look better, which involves (lose weight, dress better)

I understand that some of the discussion will involve asking myself the questions about what is preventing me from doing these things. In particular the eating of too much sugar, particularly later at night. What is that about? Hmm…..(I can think of a few things!) The issue is how to move away from that.

More tomorrow after the call…

Knock on wood…I’m feeling like I’m turning a corner with the severe eczema I’ve been experiencing the last few months. Enough that I feel like I need to move into prevention mode. I’m sure of the following as triggers to my eczema:

1. PMS
2. Colds or viruses
3. Stress/anxiety
4. ?? Foods or substances such as caffeine, sugar, soy, others (?).

I’m going to work on reducing the ones I can (can’t do much about getting my periods or about exposure to colds/flu except taking vitamins and building a stronger immune system through better eating).

I know that going up to my parents’ old house triggers a lot of stress for me. It’s dusty and closed up and there’s so much CLUTTER it makes me anxious to be there and I don’t sleep. I know we’ll have to be there for Thanksgiving. I might have to do something to work that out.

No more coffee!!!!!!!! It sucks, but I believe it might be making a difference.

I am daydreaming about the days when I am done with working for a while and go back to student life. It has been 10 years! I want to get up every day and do yoga and have a supple, happy body. Then go to class, and work, and then home for good food that I cook. I should be able to start some of this now, of course, there’s really no reason not to….

I spent about $40 yesterday at Whole Foods buying sweet almond oil (a BIG bottle!), natural moisturizer (i read that it should contain “essential oils” and not “fragrance”), neem oil (I want to try to use it instead of cortisone ointments), and a wood pin hairbrush.

I’m going to try the idea that if you can’t eat it, don’t put it on your skin! This comes from Ayurvedic principles:

http://www.boloji.com/women/02003.htm

They say if you’re feeling thirsty, it’s already too late and you’re dehydrated. I want to keep ahead of that by thinking “never feel thirsty” – inside or out!

The original goal was “love my body.” But I don’t know how much I could do that. At best, I have an ambivalent relationship with it. My body is the source of so much discomfort and has been for so long.

But I am trying to focus on “care of the physical self” (as I’ve started calling it in my mind). Like getting a massage yesterday. Or using warm coconut oil as a moisturizer at night. It’s so soothing, and takes the edge of the itchies of dry winter skin.

Both of these things are good for the self-image, too, because they make you stand up tall, and feel long and lean for a little while.

I’d like to think of some others!

bought a tiny outfit in the Christmas spirit, and for the first time in like EVER, enjoyed the process. (what’s a Santa without a little belly, eh?)

i think it may already have served its purpose ;)

Oh what a week it’s been. I either had a bad reaction to the flu shot, or the recent upped dosage of my homeopathy remedy. The weekend was tough, and not much sleep was achieved.

In either case of cause, I started feeling better day before yesterday and immediately did some yoga at home which felt great. Mentally I’m back on the right track with how I feel. But this cold weather change does awful things to our bodies (dry, dry skin, and crunched up muscles from shivering and feeling chilly). I need to find some ways to feel soothed and comfortable.

Last night i loved my body by taking it to yoga class!

There’s more to this than meets the eye!

I saw this singer recently. SHe was NOT skinny, she had curves and broad shoulders, and a tummy and all. But she wore it with grace and worked it on stage. She must do yoga and bodywork because she kept things loose and had gracefulness.

I felt (from the way she moved and carried herself) that she loved her body. Took care of it and recognized the beauty (and ignored anything else, if there even was anything that you’d consider not beautiful).

So it’s not just about “feeling fat”...I get that. It’s about unselfconciousness, comfort within, etc. There’s something more than ACCEPTANCE, which feels like the absence of emotion. It’s LOVE!