be a good student

anyone have ideas to have energy to study?

my goal is tobecome a family doc.
family practice FAQ:
http://www.valuemd.com/residency-match-forum/33408-family-practice-faq.html

sorry but I need to share someone with my thoughts
it’s 4am andI feel that nothing is working out for me right now.
my studing energies are low and I’ve been doing a search inside my soul to find what is causing this but no answer. the answer is not in psychiatry or not in this religion or another. The answer is inside me waiting for me to wake up and find it. the best solution will be a BREAK to repeat this year so I’ll be able to improve few things and have some time to myself:
1. becoming the student I want to be.(repeat courses maybe even to do USMLE. it will be important for the future)
2. find a part time job and save some money (?)
3. dedacate my self to the things that I REALLY want to do (writing, finding love& get married, travel etc.)

the big minus is that I will finish at age 34 insted of 33 + to see my colleague graduate before me. (It’s a long story but never felt part of this group anyhow and all the people around me are fake and talking behind my back constantly)
Anyhow that’s what my heart tells me to do and I don’t think that I will be the oldest doctor in the world after all!!. If I want to be a family doc. then after 2 years of internship and 3 years of family practice and if I will work until the age of 70 (or more) then l have atleast 31 years to work as a family doc. and to help some people lifes. that’s quite a lot I think.don’t you?
yes life is tough but I allways keep it positive and I never never never give up!

thx for reading waiting for your comments about it
Idan

how to become a good student?
help.. anyone?