heal my heart

...is to forgive myself for the mistakes I’ve made. My affirmation for this week is: “I forgive myself with love. I am free.”
Image from
here

Today I was doing the heart chakra meditation, after my session I noticed a relief. I did yoga and when I was in the final relaxation, suddenly the memory of past pain became so powerful that I had to cry. I let myself feel the pain , I was surprised that a moment that I have seemed to have forgotten for years could put me in that state of vulnerability again. However, I continue letting myself feel the pain, while thinking I forgive, I forgive myself for letting this happen to me, I forgive others…
Now I feel happy, calm and willing to love.I’m on a state of bliss.
What amazes me is that I had rationally forgiven that person years and years ago. I guess.. that I forgave that person only at a very superficial level. Now I know that true forgiveness is only done with your heart.

The Image is “Heart of Healing” by Rita Loyd http://www.nurturingart.com/
When looking for the image I found Rita’s beautiful words:

Healing is possible
when we can gently and compassionately
go inward
and honestly
examine, explore, question and understand
who we are.

by Rita Loyd

Things beteen my mom and my dad had been worse lately. My mom said she didn’t want to see him again, which means that there are not going to be more family dinners or celebrations together which is kind of sad. However, despite all of his mistakes my dad is my dad and I love him. He was always there for me when I was sad or brokenhearted, he helped me learn about love and solidarity. I miss my dad. Sometimes I feel I don’t know him anymore. I know that healing my heart implies understanding and forgiving what he did to my mom. Understanding that behind his mistakes he continues being a great person. I don’t know how everything is going to be… all I know is I’m tired of being angry with him. I want to hug him, I want us to become friends again.

I decided to start this goal after a terrible fight with my love. We solved the problem, but the goal is still here. Why?
I’ve discovered that I have a lot of unsolved issues, unended situations, grudges, scars, wounds that reopen when I least expect it. Part of the process of transforming myself in a loving person involves understanding and closing the situations of the past that still have a negative effect on me.Healing my heart implies travelling back to the past,forgiving , letting go…it’s not easy, but I want to be free. I don`t want to carry that extra weight in my heart. Evolution: here I come. I will declutter my house and my heart.