So I’ve been deemed the Worst Virgin Ever… it’s both sad and true. I have the sex drive of a man and a meager amount of self control. Somehow I didn’t factor this in when I began to hang out with a couple of life long friends, two boys and their 3 very single friends. Now I’m the only girl in an otherwise sausage fest and 4 out of five of them are my new problems. I consistently make out with one of them. In true one night stand fashion, I made out with a second last saturday while the others were conveniently either occupied or absent. A third has a great interest in me, as does a fourth. The fourth is the only one I can see myself having an actual relationship with and I want to. He’s the only one that I’m attracted to that I have not made out with, but I suppose that’s because I actually care about him in that way.
I’m not sure how long I can keep all of this up, though in a most selfish way, I’m enjoying every minute of it. The first boy, I know, isn’t really a problem… he’s the “man whore” of the group and as far as I know we have a pretty consentual agreement that we don’t want a relationship with each other. The second, however, I fear I’m going to hurt… I feel really bad about that. The third is going away to work at a camp all summer and will undoubtedly be just fine. The fourth, I hope, never finds out about the first two, because I really don’t want to ruin that… yet somehow I think I already have. I told him that I’d be a bad girlfriend now… which is clearly true. I told him that I would not ask him to wait for me to be ready, but that, come my return from Europe next spring, if we still have feelings for each other I’d love to be with him. That statement holds true, but the timing is oh so bad, as recent events have proven. I just want to be free to be evil for a bit… unfortunately I’m succeeding quite easily…
