Dear 43 Things Users,

10 years after introducing 43 Things to the world, we have decided we have met our last goal: completing the incredible experience that has been 43 Things. Please join us in giving one last cheer to all the folks who have shared their goals with the world, as well as all the people who have worked at The Robot Co-op to build this incredible website. We won a Webby Award, published a book, and brought happiness to a lot of people.

Starting today, 43 Things users can export their goals and entries from the site. Starting August 15, we will make the site “read only”. 43 Things users will still be able to view the site and export their content, but we won’t be taking any new content from users. We hope to leave the site up for folks to see and download their content until the end of the year. Ending on New Year’s Eve takes us full circle.

It has been a long ride (one of our original goals was to "build a company that lasts at least 2 years” - we beat that one!) While we wish the site could live on, it has suffered from a number of challenges - changes in how people use the site, the advertising industry, and how search engines view the site. We wish the outcome was different – but we’ve always been realistic about when our goals are met and when they aren't.

As of today, you will be able to download your goals and entries. See more about that on the FAQ page. Thanks for 10 great years of goal-setting and achieving.

- The Robots.

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FAQ

Ashley in Orange County is doing 22 things including…

get married


 

Ashley has written 2 entries about this goal

not the him but the us

The best advice I’ve ever been given with regards to marriage is that you shouldn’t look for the perfect man but the perfect relationship. The perfect man has central qualities that almost any woman would look for: smart, funny, good looking, hard working, sweet, romantic, ect. No woman is going to say she wants a fat, ugly retard for a husband. On the other hand, the perfect relationship is different for everyone. Some people want a family, some people want a career, some people want to travel. Certain women want to work, others want to stay home. Some want to be submissive, others dominant, others, still, seek equality. The level of independence, activity, etc all has to do with the relationship rather than personal characteristics. This is where my worries begin.

For all intents and purposes, I have found the perfect man. He is smart, funny, genuine, driven, determined, good looking, thoughtful, insightful, dedicated, loyal, forgiven, Godly, healthy and a whole slew of other things that make any man desirable on so many levels. For the time being we have a wonderful relationship full of fun and interesting endeavors, honest conversations and growth. Unfortunately I think that we want very different things for our lives, so much so that they seem contradictory to where the other is headed and might perhaps limit the others happiness in the grand scheme of life. Needless to say, I’m quite upset about the whole thing.

You see, I am not exactly the most maternal person to have existed on God’s green planet, I am not positive that it is my lot in life to be a mother, and what’s more is that I am okay with that. He, on the other hand, wants nothing more than to be a father, and he’d make a wonderful one at that. I, being the selfish person that I am, am much more interested in traveling, seeing the world and doing what I can to make the world a better place without being tied down to my own obligations. Don’t get me wrong, one of my greatest desires is to have a husband to share it all with: traveling, volunteering, etc. But I feel, more and more so, that there is so much that humanity already requires and thus it might not be me that is supposed to bring more beings into the world that require my attention. Perhaps I am supposed to attend to the needs of those who already exist. I’m not sure that I should bring all of this up to him until after I get a taste of London. After all, I may realize that I am terribly mistaken after living in another country and seeing how well I handle it. I do have a feeling that, because of my independence, I will be more than capable of coping.

Perhaps this is dilemma where the cynic in my takes over, but to me this whole dilemma really proves that sometimes love is not enough. This situation is, by no means, a result of my lack of love for him. On the contrary, I do not think that I have ever been in such a wonderfully loving relationship. If I was not one to look ahead so frequently, there would be no problem. But because I am that girl who dates for marriage, this is an issue that I cannot ignore. I refuse to put my own purpose in life aside for another, likewise I could never justify hindering another from doing that which brings them the most joy. I am afraid that if our relationship is consummated, that one of us will have no choice but to sacrifice ourself for the other’s dreams, and that scares the shit out of me.



the absence of love

It struck me just now, looking over my life’s “to-do” list that I have created for myself here, that the number of people who want to get married is seven times the number of people who wish to love. How is that possible? How can you have one without the other? Does that mean that 6,657 people want to be one half of a loveless marriage? I think not, so why then is love so easily overlooked? I wonder sometimes if the world has given up on love altogether. Researchers try time and time again to prove that marriages lasted longer when they were pre-arranged and part of formality. In the past people lived shorter lives and were under heavier societal pressures to remain married or become tainted goods. Today American society romantacizes the idea of marriage and the divorce rate is higher than ever, so it is understandable to look at love as the culprit. Whatever happened to “till death do us part?” Whatever happened to action through reason rather than through hasty decisions. Not every marriage is supposed to last, but perhaps in our fast paced society, the problem isn’t the idealistic notion of romance, but rather the populated notion of independence and opportunity, of the grass always being greener on the other side. Perhaps in a society such as this, we are destined to be discontent with whatever we have, no matter how good we have it.



 

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