Dear 43 Things Users,

10 years after introducing 43 Things to the world, we have decided we have met our last goal: completing the incredible experience that has been 43 Things. Please join us in giving one last cheer to all the folks who have shared their goals with the world, as well as all the people who have worked at The Robot Co-op to build this incredible website. We won a Webby Award, published a book, and brought happiness to a lot of people.

Starting today, 43 Things users can export their goals and entries from the site. Starting August 15, we will make the site “read only”. 43 Things users will still be able to view the site and export their content, but we won’t be taking any new content from users. We hope to leave the site up for folks to see and download their content until the end of the year. Ending on New Year’s Eve takes us full circle.

It has been a long ride (one of our original goals was to "build a company that lasts at least 2 years” - we beat that one!) While we wish the site could live on, it has suffered from a number of challenges - changes in how people use the site, the advertising industry, and how search engines view the site. We wish the outcome was different – but we’ve always been realistic about when our goals are met and when they aren't.

As of today, you will be able to download your goals and entries. See more about that on the FAQ page. Thanks for 10 great years of goal-setting and achieving.

- The Robots.

Export My Content
FAQ

ladybird in Zagreb is doing 43 things including…

heal my adulthood

6 cheers

 

ladybird has written 24 entries about this goal

Learning optimism

That is Selgman’s book… I had some hopes until I realised that it all boils down to changing my internal monologue.
New twist from this book is that there is no need to deeg deep, to discover layers and all that stuff, and that depression is no more than sum of its symptoms. So according to the book, there is no need to heal my adulthood by healing my childhood and past traumas and yada yada.
Will see. For now, I discovered aporia in its full glory. It hit me hard like 35 years ago. And realised I was in ilusion when I had thought I was on my path towards somewhere. There is no road, hence no aporia. Nowhere to go, besides where I already were before, so it is in me already; no need for salvation. It is already done, all that. Full circle. Full stop.
Waiting for my horoscope to change, to catch new wind (or new illusion of) since life is envitable anyway.



Realisation

This morning after I watched Jacqui in Extreme Makeover: Weighloss Ed. (I am huge fan of Chris Powel and I watch this show to witness the miracle of transformation is possible), it occured to me that all my clutter is no different from the excess weight, the only difference being I not carry it around on my body but instead I surround myself with it in my home, that is my outer body sort of, too.
I allways beleived how liberating would it be to let go all that clutter and than I would be able to do all that wonderfull stuff that I am prevented from doing by all that clutter and by my all decluttering efforts that prevent me from even leaving the house, except for work.

This morning it struck me that it is actually the other way around: I built this walls in purpose, to prevent me from doing all that!!!

Now I even can’t find my decluttering goal to post this, so I am posting it here.



Woke up

It was dream that helped me realise that issues I thought I had solved, are only supressed.

Some strange releif, though. Knowing there is a reason behind all this challenging times. Solves nothing but for me, knowing the reason means a lot. Gives illusion of control, puts me into drivers seat again. Now I can regroup and rethink what can I do regarding this. Planning phase is allways uplifting. It is afterwards, when expectation and pressure to follow-trough increase, that is… ugh… not so uplifting.

It was what I had perceived as betrayal, I have managed to let it go e.g. let go the hope that my past could had been different(as Oprah says), and got that person out of my head. At least it was what I had thought. In fact that person become “my head” e.g. my behaviour towards myself become one huge betrayal. Since my most inner self is mirror image of that person… apple don’t fall far from the tree and stuff… it was so easy to slip into that rut. To receive the torch and continue the neglect.



Archetypes

I interviewed 4 of my archetypes following questionarre from the book and it was very intresting. This is very intresting work but it looks as very advanced. I would be better off by regular meditation, EFT, clearing samskaras. Those few times when I did it, it made profound impact.



Feeling a bit different

There is no sence wallowing in all same all same. Maybe I could put some of it behind. I need to be able visualise my goals instead of being intimidated. I need to be in command of my moods. A little bit of breathing and discreating and EFT that I did, helped.

And, I noticed this: whatever I do, it feels hard to stop. Be it working or surfing or switching channels, I tend to beat the dead horse. But that is only the obsessive feeling – it has no substance. I can breathe, wake up from it, and do something else. It is weard. It is like I use present moment activity to hide from present moment. What is in present moment to hide from?



I got it

Not depressed but obsessed. That is really different animal. Not that depression is gone, it is more that I switched attention to other things. Now I realize doing stuff is no better that not doing stuff, it is underlying feeling that changes it all.
Was it this morning, I payed attention to The Observer and got stunned of her condition. Gee I was oblivious to myself most of my life (exactly as adults in my life were oblivious to myself). Sometimes it was good, it developed to save me from pain and it worked. But it saved me from my life, too. I want to relax my shoulders. I want to start doing what is my purpose, at least to the extend I am aware what it is. I need to unlearn so many things. Like a dog in that experiment that learned to avoid striped floor, I learned to avoid activities that I enjoy and to be scared instead. Nobody will came and yell at me any more, what is this fear about? I want to change gears and jump right into it, and I know what it is. It is good that my inner workaholic still rocks, haven’t seen her for quite a while. Now I only need to gently turn her into direction that is the most important now, that I fear the most, and could enjoy the most.



I need something completely different

This is not it.
Yesterday I managed to feel better, until I discovered I lost my earring that is precious to me. There are losses in life, I can’t base my happines on lack of losses. This is simply too much after everything that had happened.
I want to stop suffering for things that are out of my control. I need totaly differend paradigm of living.
I need to focus on my strenghts instead of weaknesses.

And, I want to stop suffering for things that are in my control, too.

Until that happens, I need to start doing everything that would help me. There are many tools I just need to use them.



Good mood is overrated...

I know I have a good life. I don’t necesserily have to feel that too, if I don’t. I love how the girl in X-factor, when she didn’t pass, said “This wasn’t my day.”

There are good and bad days (months… years….). Oh my. So be it.



Unrealistic expectations

I become aware that service provider (for instance medical doctor) knows what I want based on her expertise. But she can’t! That beleif caused things that happened. I am the only one who knows what do I want. It is my responsibility to make others known with it.



Acceptance, patience - the most stupid things ever!

The bubble burst and I can see how detrimental that mindset was to me. It led me to years of silent suffering!!! When in pain, it is utterly stupid to simply shrug it off with “it will be better” and push myself into patience mode. And believing patience is good. Yes, patience has it’s place. When in pain, the only reasonable solution is listen within and act upon it immediately, and everything else is plain rubbish. Positive thinking is dangerous. Positive acting is the real deal.



ladybird has gotten 6 cheers on this goal.

 

I want to:
43 Things Login