Figure out how to communicate with people so they understand what I'm saying

Catch 22: People have to beleive that I actually have something to say in order to pay attention to what I have to say.
I’ve noticed in more than one ocasion that I have the vision when others don’t have a clue. It is my credibility, e.g. different value scale. E.g. i “lose points” on something irelevant to me, that happens to be some sort of “credibility marker” to other people.

It is me, being too sucessful in pleesing other’s people needs, who made me invisible/unaudible! So simple but so true! :)

Since I’m so sensitive to other people emotions,
and like to make them feel nice & comfortable,
and shy,
and have prejudice that people dislike me
(can’t help myself beig so different),
and tend to leave leadeship to others (although perfectly capable to lead),
and hard to express feelings,
and… and ….
they almost never got the chance to see real me. Only those who do not actually care to be pleased can see trough this mask, if there are souch people…

I’m cameleon forming my image to suit other’s tastes (depending who I talk with) unconsciously fearing rejection! Old habit – I’m safe now! How can I be understood if I don’t show myself, right?

I speak the truth, not so much as I would, but as much as I dare; and I dare a little more as I grow older.
- Montaigne

1. I need to understand what I am saying before expecting others to understand me.
2. I need to keep in mind that not everybody has a gift of understanding, emphaty, mind reading (and stop expecting that).
3. When I am confident and direct it is much easier for people to accept my ideas.

when i want to point out someting , i am so indirect – i’m afraid to hurt other peoples feelings – that my point is totaly lost.
and i am indirect only when i want to point out something. otherwise i’m totaly direct, not thinking what am i saying at all.
so when i think, i start to mess it all :-) funny

i realised that i usually say only a conclusion. i think about something and suddenly start to think aloud. but other person can’t hear my thoughts. I need to tell them the whole idea from the beginning not just a conclusion.
sometimes it is the opposite, i think aloud and there is no visible sence in it, it is just a bunch of thoughts i try to articulate. my thinking is composite and words are linear. i often have the feeling that words say a small fraction of what i want to say.
in fact i don’t have formed habit of thinking what will i say. when other person speaks i carefully listen (i don’t use that time to think what will i say, my full attention is devoted to listening). so when is my turn to say something, i start to think and it’s already too late.
but when i know what is the message i want to give, i need to tell the whole story not just the conclusion. it is too condensed then. not enough redundance.

maybe it is unrealistic to expect that people always understand what i mean, even if i explained everything totaly clear.
so this goal is about me and my expression, not other people. i want to figure out how to communicate my ideas comprehendible, clear & loud.
the other day i attended language comprehention class (what happens in the brain while listening speach/seing sign language) and i realised that there is no redundancy in my speaking, and that makes my talk extremly uncomprehendible. so i need to figure out how to add some redundancy. it is hard. my ideas are already complicated and need lots of words to describe them. but obviously i need to put even more extra words. i need to put more energy into my words.
when i was teen, my usual saing was “i already know what i think, i’m interested in what the others think” – in other was, it was false belief “expressing myself is a waste of time”. as a teen, it never occured to me that the others might be interested in what i have to say. maybe some hidden part of me still thinks the same.