respect my health

July was the ‘perfect’ month in terms of living it almost entirely on my terms: I could easily schedule exercise, quiet time, good food and the rest of life slipped effortlessly into place around that. As July faded I knew that August would be different and initially it bothered me. E has required more support and has had some worrying situations to face; B was ending one contract and starting another; I restarted (albeit briefly) my now-aborted life coaching course. Exercise in particular found itself squeezed out of one day after another. Especially frustrating because I really want to do it and it just wasn’t happening. Now I accept that there will be times when I have to prioritise and I can’t expect life to be always laid out for my benefit. Once I stopped feeling tense about seeing my precious exercise habit fading away quietly I felt much better. I know I can get it back when life permits – and I shall!

Physical Health

Diet I’m still keeping a note of what I’m eating and I find it does help me to remain aware. Overall I know I’ve not eaten as well this month but the slips are small and short-lived. Onward :)

Exercise I am really missing what had become a daily part of my routine. I get back to it when I can and I’m hoping to manage more regular sessions again next month.

Cognitive Health

Still using Lumosity when time permits, although I do feel I’m going backwards rather than forwards at the moment. Interesting to observe the detrimental effects of external events on my ability to play these games.

Emotional & Spiritual Health

I think this area has seen the most improvement this month. Still working on resilience and accountability; still working on negative thought patterns and seeing improvements in all areas. I’m also finding a strong pull to a daily meditation session. I really want to do this and am finding that when I do, it’s very helpful regardless of how ‘successful’ I’ve been in clearing my thoughts. In fact that is probably the key achievement this month: real progress in acceptance and mindfulness :)

this goal has largely sat on my list taking up space. But this month has seen a change.

Physical Health

Diet I have been noting down what I eat each day. No calorie counting; not denying myself everything, just staying aware. The result? I’m making better choices; if I eat something “bad” it’s because I have chosen to do so and I enjoy it. There’s no guilt or recrimination. This month I have eaten consciously and it feels good.

Exercise I have become a devotee of Wii Fit. I love it! I’m having no problem making time to use it almost every day and I can really feel the benefits.

Cognitive Health
Lumosity is tough! But fun! And I’m improving all the time :D

Emotional & Spiritual Health
Lots of inner work this month. Not as much meditation as I might have expected but I haven’t felt as much need for it lately. Plenty of CBT work, enlightening reading and self-acceptance :)

I’ve lost 5lbs this month and feel better physically and mentally than I’ve felt in a long while but it was never really about weight loss or targets. The impetus was a conscious choice to take back control and make small changes so that I felt I was achieving. I just achieved more than I anticipated ;)

I love sweet things. And the more of them I eat the more of them I want. There is something addictive in sugar.

I’ve never felt that I suffer from the standard problems with sugar rushes and blood sugar dips and spikes, but I do know that variations in blood sugar levels effect me and seem to be doing so increasingly as time goes by.

I invested in a blood sugar monitor a few weeks ago. The results are interesting: nothing as simple as eating lots of sugary things = high blood sugar reading. But the reading is regularly higher than I’d like. Not into the diabetic realm but flirting with it.

I flagged this in May/June but circumstances proved it to be the wrong time to attempt to tackle it. I am in a stronger frame of mind now. It will be interesting to see what impact controlled intake has.

It’s a funny thing, health. When I set this goal I was thinking of physical health. Since the last entry here my focus has been much more on emotional and mental health. I haven’t had the capacity to be disciplined and focused on eating mindfully and exercising and monitoring the alcohol intake. I gave myself permission to take a break. And of course there are consequences to that.

The exercise routine I thought had become a habit fell away. Seven months of more sensible drinking slipped easily. Sugar, stodge and eating for the sake of it became par for the course. I was not unaware – just choosing to let it happen. And I didn’t beat myself up over it: I felt comfortable with the notion that in time I’d pick up where I’d left off.

Sunday being 10.10.10 I was idly thinking about using the date in some way. I thought of my 2010 challenges – also casualities of the emotional blip. And the result of this thinking was to begin a new challenge which will be a separate goal.

The purpose of this entry is to highlight the different components of health and how sometimes it’s necessary to make choices when various health needs conflict. It’s great when everything aligns but when it doesn’t – something has to give. The other purpose is to highlight that I didn’t beat myself up over this. Getting through a bad patch had to take priority and I wasn’t going to help matters by being hard on myself for falling down on mindful eating, drinking and exercise. I let it slip, yes – but with awareness that it was happening. I gave myself permission to let it slip. I think that’s very important.

And now to refocus and see what happens next….

I am making some amendments to my June Challenges

There is nothing on that list that is particularly excessive but that doesn’t get away from the fact that if I have a ‘good’ day and exceed 10,000 steps I am too tired to do anything the day after: literally too tired to think, let alone walk anywhere. That’s not a good state to get into. I’ve been thinking about this and I can see a pattern stretching back some way. Last April when we spent long days decorating here before moving in left me ill and exhausted for weeks; small bursts of activity since then have always had repercussions. I have never had much energy so that’s nothing new. What is new is the fall-out after a day when I’ve overdone things. It’s annoying but I’ve been thinking about what ‘respect my health’ means and also the June Bootcamp goal: Healthy Body and Mind Balance.

Activity that causes me to be tired beyond the point of being able to do anything is not a healthy state of balance. I suspect I am more likely to increase my overall energy levels if I build up much more slowly and maintain a point of balance that ensures I can function properly every day.

So I am amending my 10,000 steps challenge. I can see from the records I’ve kept that a typical day hovers around the 6,800 steps mark. Not something I’m proud of but that’s the reality of it. My new target for June therefore, will be to achieve at least 7,500 steps on at least 10 days this month. Hopefully I shall build on that in subsequent months.

I’ve changed the name of this goal from ‘keep a food log’. I started keeping that log whilst waiting for the glucose tests results to come in after I was ill last month. They came back last Friday: glucose levels 5.5, cholesterol 5.6. The GP has marked them as clear: I am officially healthy and the high result from the previous blood test was a result of the infection at the time. I am pleased of course, but also aware that those figures are at the top end of normal. And just 3 or 4 years ago my cholesterol level was 2.something. My GP was impressed at how low it was.

I have made progress in improving my diet over the course of this year but there is room for more change. At the time of that last cholesterol test for example, my diet was very close to the Mediterranean diet. I love tomatoes and peppers, aubergines and onions. I used to make wonderful ratatouilles. I also followed the G.I. nutritional guidelines too. All of this has disappeared in recent years.

Circumstances in May have also meant that a lot of the good exercise habits I’d established over the course of this year have drifted. This is a good time to refocus and pull everything back together.

• Resume my daily stretching routine, including daily half squats
• Recommit to regular brisk walks: 30 mins x 5 times a week
• Start wearing my pedometer again
• Use my rebounder to keep up the step count and raise my heartrate.
• Refocus on low G.I. foods in my diet
• Follow the principles of the Mediterranean diet
• Reduce the amount of red meat in my diet still further and eat only a moderate amount of chicken and fish

Breakfast
Not hungry
2 large mugs earl grey tea

Mid morning
large mug decaf tea

lunch
skipped lunch

afternoon
large mug earl grey
few cherry tomatoes
2 x low cal cereal bars

evening
crisps (lots thereof)
chicken and large portion green beans and peas
tart au citron
3 medium glasses red wine
large mug decaf tea

Breakfast
Not hungry
2 large mugs earl grey tea

late morning
banana
large mug peppermint tea

Lunch
wholemeal pitta bread
half can tuna + low-fat mayonnaise
tomatoes
2 raw carrots
large mug peppermint tea

Mid afternoon
large glass water
cheshire cheese (about 50g)

Evening
1 medium glass white wine
ham, cheese & mushroom pasta

Breakfast Again, not hungry
2 large mugs earl grey tea

late morning
large mug decaf tea
banana

late lunch
wholemeal pitta bread
half can tuna + low-fat mayonnaise
tomatoes
half pepper
large glass water + slice of lemon

Afternoon
large glass water + slice of lemon
large apple
100g dates

Evening
steamed salmon with lemon
home-grown new potatoes – medium portion
large potion steamed broccoli
magnum
3 small glasses white wine
large mug decaf tea

_{but for the wine and the magnum, this was a good day. surpirised at the sugar content of dates though}

A few things have come together and led to this goal but it’s primarily kickstarted by the blood test result yesterday that indicates high glucose levels. This may be a blip – it wasn’t a fasting test – that will happen next week now. But I know how I’ve been feeling and it certainly smacked of blood sugar issues to me so although I’ve been putting the fatigue, blurred vision and difficulty in concentrating down to the infection and the antibiotics, I wasn’t unduly surprised by this result. Looking back for unrelated reeasons over my ‘daily appreciation’ entries, I was surprised to notice how often I’ve mentioned being tired – a regular event for the last couple of months at least.

I’m not jumping to any conclusions; the test next week could be perfectly fine. But I am going to start logging what I eat and drink and I’m doing it here because it carries more weight for me here: I feel more like I’m answerable to someone.

So here I go…
Breakfast: really wasn’t hungry so skipped breakfast.
_{felt quite bloated really – wondering again about the connection with alcohol: last night I had white wine}

2 large cups earl grey tea
1 large cup decaf tea

Late morning:
banana

Late lunch:
large glass water + lemon slice
sandwich: 2 slices white bread, no butter, cheshire cheese, homemade green tomato chutney
3 small (not cherry) tomatoes
_{I do not particularly like white bread – B does. Brown bread so much better nutritionally}

Late afternoon:
large glass water + lemon slice
large apple
small tin sweetcorn _{love it!}

Evening
2 small glasses white wine
ham, cheese & mushroom pasta
salad: pepper, rocket, tomatoes
yogurt
magnum
large mug decaf tea

_{notes: I would consider this to be reasonably okay. Portions were small. I would not have had the yogurt or the magnum without encouragement from B}