get involved with old friends

I called one of my best friends in China last week. I didn’t plan to call but I did. She didn’t expect to receive my call but she did. Both of us screamed on the phone:) excited! I has been three month since last time we talked on the phone. But no matter how long we lose contact, we are easy to catch up and never feel distance. It’s an amazing thing. Friends are the best, just after parents, who will always understand me and stand by my side:)

Today (2nd July 2, 2006), I just came back from the graduation party. I officially said goodbye to my best best friend – Clarie (use her English name in the future). Even though I have a very very good friend from high school, who I thought was my best, Clarie is more like my soulmate (unfortunately she’s gal and I’m not lesbian.). We not only can talk anything, but also she can understand me accurately, not judge me and in most times we share same opinions. She’s the one I trust nearly 100% (the only one except parents). One example is I give her my bank account and email account and password and I never worry if she did something besides that I wanna she do (sometimes I have troubles to access the internet.) The bar thing, well, it is not right in ordinary Chinese’s mind and I’m the person who cares much about what others think of me (I’m trying to ignore unnecessary worries. It’s the NO.1 goal on my list but I cannot change myself over night.) so that I would never talk to anyone. But I told her and I wonder her opinion. See, that’s how I feel about the friend. We went to sing karaok. We sang our song, which we used to sing at dorm. We talked about the first crush that we had when we were in primary school. We shared the tears experience of first love. We understood the hardship of preparation advanced education entrance exam (She will go to pursue her master degree in a very good university in Beijing.) We have similar sense of humor, even we can turn spate into joke. And she can easily get what I mean even I cannot describe something (She always mocks me as an ignorant or lack of Chinese literature.). On the party, usually I don’t drink beers or other alcohol because I wanna keep my soberness. And you probably know that Chinese like inviting others to drink (in Chinese it’s called Jing Jiu), like holding a glass of beer and asking the other to drink too. I only drink beer when I really mean it, like I really wanna show my sincerity. Clarie is going home tomorrow and probably we won’t see each other for years so I asked her to drink the final glass with me. After a few minutes when we were walking on the way home, maybe it’s the fault of the alcohol, she said with crying:” 4 years isn’t a short one…” Then I know that my valve will not be closed any more. Neither of us like such sentimental goodbye or tears. It’s better to be rational and cool. However, 4 years living together cannot just be end as nothing happens. Actually it’s a big treasure of my life, at least to me. We made a deal that I need her to be my maid of honor when I get married, and be the God mother of my kids and I will do the same as return, exclusively. And we will have video call every week to keep each other updated. I know it may be hard in long term but I definitely will do my best to keep the friendship I feel I’m losing my best friend….I stop here. I’ve cried enough today, even when I am writing these…I even didn’t leave her something for her to remind me…

My official Children’s Day ended when I were in grade 12th. What’s a pity! No parties, no gifts! However, since someone always said they are always 27, we decide to regain what we DESERVE! Last evening, five of us went out to karaok. The atmosphere was rather high. It’s most fun when there are some guys who always spice up. For God sake someone started to sing songs less sentimental, the Disco time comes! HEHE~ sounds like June 1st is our excuse to have fun!

My best friend in college, is admitted by Ren Min University in Beijing and will go there this summer. That’s really good news because she has been upsetted too much~~ I will hold a secret party to surprise her, TO CELEBRATE! Some friends are losing but some need to hold closely no matter where we are.

I spent 7 days in Chengdu with parents and some old friends. They don’t change a lot and easy to catch up. We can do nothing but only talk for a whole day! Time change, people change. Some may start a family, go to work or study. I just hope I can have another reunion with them just as what we did.

I have my birthday a couple of days before. To my surprise, I got many greeting sms from friends who I didn’t expect to get info from. Some I think we’re not so close to remember each other’s birthday and some who, as well as me, don’t think birtday is a big day to do something. Anyway, my birthday was full of sweet surprises and I guessed this year will be my lucky one^_

From Christmas to New Year, I got lots of greetings from old freidns, most I haven’t contacted for awhile. Somewhat guilty, but I feel great that I’m memoriable:) and it’s so sweet to see so. Friends is really a big treasure in my life and they are worth my efforts.

In Christmas, I got several greetgings from friends those I didn’t expect to hear from, for we lost contacts for quite a while. When I was looking at those words, I felt so happy. Probably sometimes I can get more if I low down my expectation.

Today, accidently, I ran into an old friend online. I seldom used that IM tool cos I don’t wanna be disturbed. The result is that I’m so far away from my old friends, physically and emotionally. Some reasons could be: I’m away from my home town, I have more new friends, I seldom go back, I spend few days at home, etc,. The point is I feel excluded from them since we used to hang out and have fun. I’m losing my past. They’re part of mine. Even though I meet them, I hardly know what to talk. Life has been totally different. Probably it’s time to pick up what I left….