sarolite in El Monte is doing 28 things including…

plan my funeral

4 cheers

 

sarolite has written 4 entries about this goal

Anna Nicole Smith, James Brown... 2 years ago

James Brown, who was reportedly in bad health, wrote his will 10 months before the birth of his youngest child and more than a year before his latest marriage. The child is now five and has not a cent from his father’s estate. The widow was even kicked out of her own home (with the child!) by his adult children. Then it took TWO MONTHS for the widow and children to decide where to bury him.

His will, at least, does not exclude future children, and the media reported that it may be invalid in his home state because of the marriage after the fact.

Anna Nicole Smith, who reportedly had made suicide attempts and who reportedly told others that she expected to die young, wrote her will while her 20-year old son was still a minor. She left everything to her lawyer/boyfriend in trust for him. Well, he grew up, she had another child, her son died… and she never made a new will. If you were to actually read her will, she states “I have intentionally omitted to provide for my spouse and other heirs, including future spouses and children and other descendants now living and those hereafter born or adopted, as well as existing and future stepchildren and foster children.” (Emphasis added.)

So that leaves out the daughter, Marshall’s children, Stern if their “commitment ceremony” were to be considered binding (believe it or not, that’s being argued in court)... I say the supreme court should give all of Marshall’s money to his children and whatever Smith actually earned for herself (from Trimspa?) can be split between the Smith’s mother and her child.

And of course there’s the matter of her burial. The boyfriend claims that since she bought two side-by-side spots in the Bahamas that indicates her wish to be buried next to her son. I tend to agree with that statement. Her mother, who wasn’t on speaking terms with her before her death, has solved the problem of respecting her wishes by planning to exhume her son so that they can be buried together in a state neither of them lived in. The family plot in Texas doesn’t have enough room for everyone planned plus the son, so which child/spouse is the mother going to kick out?

Both of the people above had a lot of assets and a prior knowledge (in varying and arguable amounts) that they were in danger of death. Both of them went 5 or more years between updating their wills and their death, and both of them had children between writing their wills and their deaths. Both of them are spending more time than they should between their death and burial… Anna Nicole wasn’t even embalmed until the coroner told the court that she was decomposing more quickly than expected. Both of their loved ones will be forever locked in court battles instead of having time to mourn their loss as a person instead of a bank account.

I hope that this makes more people think about burial arrangements and wills, just like Terri Schiavo made people think about advanced health directives or durable power of attorney for health care. We may not have as much money to split up as the two examples above, but that doesn’t make it any less important for us “normal” people to make arrangements.

Okay, enough soap box for now!



Took the next step 2 years ago

The representative from Rose Hills emailed me back yesterday and dropped by today with some information for me, including a price list, sample estimates, brochure, and pictures of the areas I told him I was interested in. He says that you can finance anywhere between one year and ten years, with five years being typical. On property, you have to put down 10%, and it would appear that the property is about half of the total cost.

I looked through the information, and I have some idea of what I want and don’t want. My only problem is that I’m very visual. That and I don’t know my woods and metals well enough! I can’t really picture what I’m looking at based on the price list, but it’s definitely food for thought.

I’m going to have to go in and talk things over with them, or I can call this guy and I’m sure he’ll bring stuff out to me. He seemed like a very nice guy, we had a very pleasant conversation. Not at all morbid! He was telling me about the process from his experience pre-planning with his wife, and that they’re a few years into a five-year plan. Very reassuring about the whole process.

Now to convince my husband that I’m not trying to kill him… No, he knows why I’m doing this, but he did joke with me at dinner tonight about me planning our funerals and our retirement simultaneously while we’re 22/23. =P



Moving toward this goal 2 years ago

I’ve emailed the cemetary that I like, where I have family already, and asked about pre-planning and pre-payment options. Depending on the answers I get about how much needs to be paid when, I’ll probably do this sooner than later.



My niece's baby died in 2005... 3 years ago

My niece was in no condition to make arrangements, her mother (my sister, the baby’s grandma) was downright crazy… so my other sister, the baby’s paternal grandparents, the baby’s maternal grandfather (my sister’s ex-husband), and myself made all the arrangements. It was especially hard because every single step we had to confer with someone to make sure that everyone was okay with the decisions we were making. I think that we were amazingly strong given the circumstances.

It was while we were making arrangements that my husband (then fiance) and I were at the cemetery and picked up a handout about pre-planning. I think it’s a good idea, and I want my husband to do it too. My parents have paid for their places in a mausoleum, but won’t discuss their deaths. My sister has discussed what she wants with me, and I asked her to write it out and get it notarized before she goes into surgery next month, because I know it’s not what our parents would agree to. (She wants to be cremated.)

So, that leaves us, and my other sister…



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