i’ve been keeping to myself alot and not talking in social circles and groups.
not sure why, i mean i’m working through some pain and anxiety.
people just talk all over me and i daydream in my head.
i finally had to sit someone down and let them know how rude it is to constantly interrupt and talk over me. there are still others that do it. i think i’m working through some anger issues. i just don’t like to repeat myself. and when i see several people doing the same thing, it’s like… WHY am i surrounded by this/WHY do people do that/argh.
i think my communication is getting significantly better when in support groups. i’ve also been journaling more, which helps me center my energy and thoughts. i had a phone interview the other day and think i did surprising well, considering i was standing outside in the heat and unprepared.
i couldn’t focus/articulate/think/exist properly at all last night.
the worst part is not being able to shake it for hours and looking like a complete moron.
man, when i’m in a funk it’s SO hard to communicate ANYTHING.
i’d really like to be my old, bubbly, personable self.
i’ve had a couple of opportunities to talk to people and mingle, but i’ve been kinda blocked. and i’m so out of practice.
my energy, my attitude, my anxiety. things need to change.
i’ll get there. time to re-socialize and trust.
So i’m a little geeky and spazzy sometimes.
sometimes i just don’t even care anymore.
people have issues.
it makes me just want to be a hermit forever.
i don’t know why i can’t seem to communicate lately. i feel really shy lately and can’t seem to focus. maybe i’m being too much of a hermit and having sensory overload. i’m also reverting back to looking at people’s mouths instead of eyes… i need to stop that.
I’m such a spazz when certain people stare deep into my eyes while i’m talking. I get so nervous sometimes. I really need to socialize more and have more confidence. Slow, down, think. I look away too much and feel like i use the same comfort words over and over. Its annoying when i can’t form a coherent paragraph. I was so tired, but still, wish it came more naturally.
optimist vs pessimist
positive vs negative
swearing vs clean language
seeing eye to eye vs speaking to deaf ears
reading vs watching
mindfulness vs destruction
not alone vs surrounded
not happy vs happy
i’m not feeling like myself lately. i’m sure i’ll snap out of it, but my communication skills really suffer during times like these. it seems like i can’t even put together a coherent thought and express myself. major brain fog. major stress.